<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d37873812\x26blogName\x3d%E2%99%A5+The+Royal+Edict+by+the+Queen+of+all...\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://grumpyqueen.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://grumpyqueen.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d2277420984537278484', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



About the GrumpyQueen


A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

If you wanna be linked, just tag ok?

Favourite posts


| How to revert back to old blogger template |
| Glitz and glamour |
| My lil goddaughter |
| 07/07/07 |
| Universe's theory |
| A senseless mess |
| Last class party pics |
| Rambling about stupid aunties |
| Last day of school pics |
| Last day of school pics |
| Tales of the SINGAPOREAN rojak |
| Killing cockroach with Sis I |
| Killing cockroach with Sis II |
| You know you're a Nurse when... |
| Thailand 2007 |
| Taiwan 2008 |
Friends


My old blog | My other blog | Anru |Bernard | Arianz | Cherryl | Candice | Christine | Darren |Emma | Fel | Lady Rose | Moose | Mable Bee | Oda | Princess Snow | Toe Queen | Yvonne |


Credits


Designed by islenska | Blogger | Blogskins.com


Speak To Me


Please use my haloscan to comment on specific posts by clicking on the
"Speak your mind"
link at the end of each post.

For misc/random comments just tag on the latest post.

I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

Thanks! :)


History


December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

Another crap day at driving



I had another crap day at driving today. My instructor kept telling me when to change gears, I rather he not tell me, just let me get scared by the horrible noise the engine produces. The more he tells me, the less professional I feel, the more I feel I can't drive.

He asked me when will I be good, haha if I knew, why will I bother with lessons? He said if I can control my clutch, it means my driving is good. I also know, since when you see people stalling engines in the middle of the road?

I feel like I'll never pass. I don't count the number of times I stall now, I don't stop and feel irritated, I just re-start the engine and move on. It's not because I stall too many times, cannot be bothered, it's just that I don't have time to stop and reflect, the cars are like piling up behind me. I used to feel like a useless fool, but you stop feeling like that, cos you don't have time when you're worrying when the cars behind will start honking.

28.4.07 1:09 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over



I know what this sentence means now, I think in life, we need to close both eyes to live happily for what the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over.

I'm sick of this, I don't know why I even bother. I'm tired, I really am. It's only the second week and I don't know if I can survive through it all. I'm sick of growing up, sick of even being alive.

Home is where the heart is, home is where you find comfort, but sometimes home is the source of all troubles and the people at home make life harder for you, not easier.

26.4.07 10:37 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

SO TIRED



I'm so tired. I slept standing on the train today, what to do, got no seat...

This is what motivates me, I will not be doomed to taking public transport for the rest of my life.

THen when I got a seat, I just dozed off, despite fears that I may miss my stop. I couldn't help it. I usually don't sleep on public transport, but this time, keeping my eyes open was harder than the way to heaven.

I met all the terrible drivers today. One who didn't move off when he's supposed to, hence blocking my way and causing the drivers at the back to honk at me. Another couldn't decide when to turn in, blocked my way, I nearly came crashing into him because my view of him was blocked, he reversed as and when he liked, with scant respect for the cars behind of him. The last one cut into my lane suddenly, if my reaction was a tad slower, I wouldn't be here typing. I think it must be my retribution, I met too many nice drivers on my first few lessons, now all the nasty ones are surfacing...

25.4.07 9:27 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed




No one HAS to live with it.
No one HAS to like me.
Hence, I don't HAVE to like everyone.

Don't look at how someone treats his friends, look at how he treats the people he dislikes and those that dislike him. Frankly, if you ask me, I don't really care about how people look at me. I know that whatever I do, there would always be people who think I should have done otherwise.

I sometimes think, "life is short, why spend it pleasing those who would probably never like you?" Someone would shoot back, telling me that there is no such thing as "strangers" just friends you've not met. In other words, if we play our cards right, strangers can become best friends.

But then again, is it worth it? Why should I make one less enemy and one more friend? What if I die and God asks, "do you know what it's like to have an enemy?"

Christianity talks so much about loving our enemies. So therefore, I think we're meant to have enemies, otherwise how can we practise what we've been taught? Not making enemies is like running away from the problem, pretending it doesn't exist. Can we say that we'll live our lives and not make a single enemy? No.

So make all the enemies you want. If you dislike someone, try experiencing it fully. Immerse yourself fully in it, enjoy its every emotion. Because disliking someone is not wrong, it's how you feel about the person. Does it mean that the other person's a terrible thing? No, because the person you dislike is someone's friend, lover, child or parent. So while disliking someone, remember that that person is loved by many others.

So you can either continue disliking someone until your last breath or you can start loving him/her. Because disliking someone for the rest of your life is one experience, disliking then loving is another and loving someone at first sight is also another experience.

In other words, don't live everyday like yesterday. Don't expect everyone to be just like the last person you met and liked.

22.4.07 10:28 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Wow 100th post!



Errm...yea 100th post, how significant!

Once, there lived a girl who, in her last sem of her poly days went for the wrong lecture because she misread her timetable. What a joke!

I was even late for my lecture! I rushed like a mad woman to the lecture hall, entered it only to find a bunch of unfamiliar faces but the lecturer looked familiar. Hence, I sat down and started wondering, "what in the world is going on? Why does it sound so unfamiliar?" I looked around to see what book am I supposed to take out. Goodness gracious! I don't even have the book with me. At this point, I'd suspected that I may be in the wrong LT.

I called darling. When her phone rang, I heaved a sigh of relief. It shows that she can't be in the other LT because if you're there, there's no signal. So if there's no signal, there shouldn't be a ringing tone. Great, so it must be the wrong time then. She picked up and confirmed my suspicions.

Okay, so what should I do now? Run out of the LT and so the whole world will know this gundu came for wrong lecture? Hahaha! I sat through it and after 10 mins realised I attended the lecture earlier in the week so this is like repeat telecast.

The year ones are funny. I nearly died laughing at one. We were all in the lift, about to close the door when one rushed in. She said, "if I take this lift, will it connect to Blk K?" We looked at one another and tried not to laugh. With our most normal face, we managed to force out a "yes." When the door opened, she came out and my friend told me something interesting. She said she met the girl in the morning while outside the LT with some other classmates. This girl popped up from nowhere and asked, "are you all group 7?" My classmates looked at each other and said, "yea, why?" Can't remember what she said after that but another classmate asked, "which batch of group 7 are you looking for? o5o7,o6o7 or 0707?" The girl saw her classmates and said, "oh it's ok, I found my classmates!"

I thought she's cute, she cannot recognise her own classmates. I don't know how we adjusted. I suppose we just admitted we're all blur sotongs and stuck together. Somehow, we found our way around and survived.

And now, we're all going into the deep, blue sea. We're all going to go into the workforce and become blur sotongs all over again. Maybe I shouldn't laugh at the sotongs too much, bad karma.

21.4.07 12:36 AM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

When there was me and you





It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and youI swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song
Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe thatI could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was fallingAnd I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

17.4.07 11:03 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Muahahaha



Blogger FORCED me to change to the newest version today. kk fine so I changed it but I never saw what was wrong with the old, maybe they changed it for the sake of changing. Or else, what are those people that are supposed to improve the system gonna do right? So yea, this is my first post after switching, am gonna see what's so different about it.
Did gowning today, wanna see me all geared up? Haha I think it looks cool, not pretty, COOL.
Two people asked if I'm attached. Hehe if all the guys thought like these 2 girls, I would probably die single. I don't know where they got the "vibes" from. But yea, if it pleases you, I'm joined at the hips with the greatest girl alive, my darling and yesterday was our anniversary, the day I met her...
I seem to be meeting a bit too many irritating specimens. I've just proven my theory, "if you don't like me, it's probably mutual." Which makes sense, for I can't bring myself to be comfortable around someone I don't really like. When I'm uncomfortable, I act in a way that makes someone else uncomfortable.
I don't really believe in love at first sight, but I cannot help but believe in dislike at first sight. I don't know what is it about someone that makes me dislike them. I really don't. It's not like they did something to piss me off so much, it's just that when you meet them, you just don't feel like being chummy with them. Really, I actually wanna know what makes me like someone and what makes me dislike them. That way, I can avoid meeting people with the qualities that irks me and make my life a little happier. That way, less people will be stuck in an uncomfortable situation like witnessing my nonsense when meeting me for the first time with the Ninjas ready to pounce on them any moment.


















10:08 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

So irritating



I don't know why are there irritating people in this world. Those that get on your nerves. I'm supposed to control my temper, cos according to some chinese sinseh, if I don't control my temper, it's going to take it's toll on my heart, kidneys and liver. Now, any idiot will know that heart, kidneys and liver's EXTREMELY important to a human being and if I wanna live a longer life, I better curb my temper. Yea, I wanna outlive those irritating specimens.

And I still haven't said why am I so irritated. WHY is not so important, the fact that I cannot stand your stupid face surpasses the reasons why.

Some people, when they're talking, you feel like just chewing a chunk of their meat off, maybe their tongue so they can shut their mouth and not go on. Their voice makes your hair stand and your hatred for them grows with every second. No, that's too exaggerated but you get what I mean.

In short, I suppose there are some people you'll NEVER like, yea, even if you've known them all your life, you just cannot bring yourself to like the sight of them.

15.4.07 10:00 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Do you know what it's like?!



Darling's been really sweet. Without her encouragement, her reassurance, I would have been convinced that I'm abnormal, not cut out for driving, doomed to be a transport taker. Don't keep telling me that I'm a girl and it doesn't matter if I can drive or not, that maybe I'm destined to be a tai tai. Don't tell me that, I don't believe in it.

What if the one I marry can't drive? What if he's so successful he doesn't have time to be a driver? Even if my husband's going to drive me around, what's wrong with learning how to drive? Can't I say, "I can drive, but he drives me around so I don't spoil my nails" What if I'm kidnapped one day and somehow managed to find my way to the driver's seat only to realise I can't drive?

I'm sick of it all, I wish it'll be over soon, that I'll pass the stupid test and never have to face freaky people like my instructor and my tester for the rest of my life.

23:08: I just realised I broke my toe nail because I drove bare-footed today. Don't ask me why I drive barefooted, I believe u can feel the pedals better and cause less accidents.

11.4.07 6:46 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

a little hormonal



I'm a little hormonal these days, no, maybe I should say MORE hormonal since I was always hormonal.

Driving instructor scared me, he said I've got a lesson today, which I DON'T. He remembered the thing wrongly. And apparently, he couldn't make it for thurs but told me who could, which is why I booked the timing. Oh right, now it has to be cancelled, would probably finish my lessons at the ripe old age of 80.

I sometimes get really irritated, at him and myself. I'm TRYING! When we try, we sometimes make it and we sometimes fail. I feel he's got too high expectations of me. I'm a damn slow learner and so maybe he should expect less yea? Stop telling me it'll be good if I can drive like you, 'cos if I could, I wouldn't need lessons now would I? And if you took about 30 years to be this good, you expect me to do it in 3 lessons? I sometimes feel like yelling at him, I feel like giving up.

It doesn't help when people keep saying school is better, that they have nice patient instructors, a better passing rate and what-not. I paid the enrolment fee and you expect to quit now and re-start with the school? You think my father print money?! And I don't believe ALL the instructors are good, the only good thing is that you prob won't have to see his face again since they don't have a fixed instructor unless you pay for it. Geez, am going for driving again tmr, don't know what will happen though.

10.4.07 1:33 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

My first blog post on the laptop



No longer is it a white elephant. I can finally go online with this laptop. All thanks to a 75 bucks router. That's quite cool eh? My sis is happily transferring songs to a newly acquired ipod video. Without this wonderful purchase, I'd be bugging her to let me use the desktop. Hahaha! Now she can transfer songs for all I care, 'cos I'm just gonna sit here and surf the net happily.

Am also trying to transfer some songs, wallpaper and what-nots over. So I keep having to re-start the comp. Just came on blogger again, imagine my shock and horror when I found it in Mandarin! Ok, I'm not one of those kantang who speak with a posh accent, who refuse to speak Mandarin because it's so uncool. Mandarin is not uncool, I just prefer English. I think in English, dream in English so what's your problem? I was shocked not because I couldn't read the language and couldn't navigate around but because I was used to seeing it in English. Get used to it then, what's my problem? Hohoho! Getting used to it takes time and why should I get used to it if I'm already used to seeing it in English. Thank goodness for google, I now have it switched back to it's normal language-good old English.

Anyway, I realised the joy of going online with a laptop. You can surf around the house. One day, I'll get my school to give me access to the wireless network in school. Then, I'd come online to flaunt it. Hahahaha!

Ok, if that unfriendly little lady would just help me with it, that is. Don't keep telling me to read the damn instructions, if I could, I wouldn't come and disturb you now would I? Ok, maybe she thought I was being funny, who in the world cannot read step by step instructions right? Hello? I've got like 30 to follow, I must have messed up somewhere! So why can't she be nice and kind? Or I could wait till my birthday, and with a sad little face tell her it's that special day in the year, if she won't help me, I'll just start wailing.

7.4.07 10:37 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Driving



It's like my third lesson. I'm starting to feel I'm not cut out for driving. Maybe I'm destined to be a passenger or a public transport taker all my life.

I stalled the engine don't know how many times today, mainly at traffic lights. I think out of 10 traffic lights, I stalled at about 6-7 lights. Despite efforts to stay in my lane, I still can't do it. He still has to steer it back from time to time. But it's a little better than the first 2 lessons where I drove like it's my grandfather's road with little respect for the lane markings. I feel like crying everytime I need to turn out into a bigger road. I just feel the cars are too near me and they're going to crash into me any moment. So my instructor is going "ok, go now, go now." And I'd be like "please don't bang into me..."

At the Haig road area... ~shakes head~

They've got tons of buses and lorries there. I just feel like they're going to crash into me any moment. Looking into my mirrors, I imagine them cursing at me for travelling at 30 km/hr. He said to drive slowly. When he says drive slowly, I drive TOO slow. When he says speed up, I drive TOO fast, as in 60-70 km/hr. I kinda of like it when the car is travelling at that speed. I feel people won't be cursing at me. Also, the heavier vehicles can't travel as fast so they won't be around me.

Currently, I feel like crap. I felt like anyone with normal intelligence should be able to drive properly after 3 lessons. When I hear of idiots who pass on first attempt, after 12 lessons, I kick myself even more. It's useless if you tell me that you passed only after 4 or 5 attempts. That's not my problem. My problem is time and money. I can't take my time, I don't have all the money in the world to burn now. I'm starting work NEXT year, do you think I've got so much time to keep learning?

And everytime the bloody engine stalls, I've got the urge of getting out of the damn car, slamming the door behind me and telling the instructor "I GIVE UP! GOING FOR AUTO!" I really feel like doing that, it's frustrating.

4.4.07 4:01 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Professional photography? Hahaha



I just wrote a post about professional photography. I still don't know what makes a photo "professional" and what makes it "amatuer."

But I know one thing. A video that cuts out some important parts, zooms in and out a little too much, is just, I don't know--horrible. I think the camera doesn't even like me. I suppose there is a good reason why I'm not into these stage arts thing.

I enjoy the stage, I would live on it if I could. I don't enjoy these camera thing as much. These camera thing, lights and all's just not my thing.

3.4.07 5:19 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

My hot date



So she came to pick me up. A young girl in a van, how cool is that? Bus drivers, car drivers, basically almost everyone who could see were looking into the van. What the hell are 2 young girls doing in there?

Our first stop: Changi Village. Think there was an army camp nearby. There were loads and loads of army trucks. They too, stared, pointing and discussing excitedly presumingly about us. She, being the weird girl had to do something unglamourous at this point. When she braked, there was this loud screeching sound. They laughed. She felt like hiding. It was an accident, she didn't mean it, which is so like her, doing funny things accidentally.

Next, after our numerous attempts to turn into the road leading to parkway failed, we decided to go to East coast, since it was such a beautiful day. Actually, it was my fault why we couldn't turn into Parkway. I'm quite retarded when it comes to things like these. We were just going straight, thinking of where to go. And everytime we pass a road leading to Parkway, I go, "oh we could have turned in there to go to Parkway." Needless to say, it was bloody useless cos I should have said it earlier so she can get into the correct lane.

East coast was fun, you should have seen how she parked and how quick it was. Then it started to drizzle a bit, so we had to take shelter in the van. She wanted to take me home but it started to rain more heavily and we couldn't see. Found the Drive thru, got some Mac, found a carpark and had a picnic there. The lady at the drive thru was funny, should have seen her face when she saw us in the van. By the time we got our food, the rain stopped, dashing our hopes for a romantic picnic. But what do you want us to do? Throw the food? So we ate it all anyway and went home.

The way home was funny too. We were in some private estate and all the road names didn't sound familiar. I don't remember taking any of those routes on my way home from East coast. I saw Simei and told her to go there. At least, I can find my way home from there!

She's going to fix the air con and give the one who comes between us a ride. I said I should tag along, for the air con ride. We'll see what other funny incidents we could come up with by then.

1:05 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed