♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

If you wanna be linked, just tag ok?

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Please use my haloscan to comment on specific posts by clicking on the
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For misc/random comments just tag on the latest post.

I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

Thanks! :)

History

December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

it left as quickly as it came

I don't have a good feeling about this blog shop thing. I decided to let those stupid kids have their way and blog shoppers have to stick to their silly, childish rules.

1) I woke up today, regretting. When something like that happens, I'll usually call it off.

2) I don't have a good feeling about this. And I'm not one who gives up after a little objection from others. If I see it'll work, it'll work, I'll make it work. Like when I wanted to go into psy med, people around me objected, violently, in fact. But I saw where I was going, I was gonna do everything in my power to make this whole shit work. Not that I was not gonna do my best this time but this time, I feel out of control, powerless.

I feel like whatever I'm gonna to do is useless. I came up more reasons for failure then sucess. So anyone in their right mind would quit and SHOULD quit.

Alright now, enough said. You may throw those paperballs at me now...

30.6.08 8:21 PM

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I'm gonna purge myself silly

The toilet bowl's my best friend today. I feel like puking, I can't stop shitting sticky shit.

I'm not kidding ok, it's like dark brown and really sticky. Best part is, I don't know why, since I eat the same old stuff day in day out. And of course, shit is smelly and today's shit's smellier than usual.

See, this is what a nurse does, analyse her own shit.

It should stop, because like tears, you stop shitting when you've got nothing else to shit. Tears stop flowing when they've dried up too. The logic's the same. I'll just pretend it's a detox programme then.

28.6.08 3:29 PM

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It's been so long

There's no reason for me to sigh anymore.

I enjoy my work, I love my seniors.

And I don't wanna make anymore changes to my life anymore. Let me live this kinda of life for the next 1 year or so. Let me stagnate for a while.

Please stop pushing me forward, let me get comfortable with my new role, with the new people I've met.

爱若缺了缘份
我想我只能用情至深但不能太认真

I know I'm supposed to churn out some stupid/interesting pictures, this will wait till I have the mood for it.

27.6.08 11:37 PM

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I want to have my own business!

I am gonna open a blogshop and force those small kids out of business. So pissed off la!

I was looking for some funny slogan/vintage tees on blogshops. And all I got were some silly kids trying to set up a business. And they have silly rules. One blogshop summed it all for me.

Click on the image to enlarge and have a look at stupid rules.
What is this la?! How is it my fault they don't have a POSB account for me to transfer money into?

And I have to travel all the way to wherever you want me to to hand you the money, make my way back, wait like a fool for my product, travel all the way back to collect my product some days later. That or I pay anything between $1-$4. For their stupid transport money, for them to travel from wherever they are to wherever I am.

If I'm late for 5 mins- pay $0.50

10 mins- $1 etc...

What is this? Secondary school?! I'm the customer leh, you say half an hour you start charging me, I say fair enough. 5 mins or so is called GRACE PERIOD! And if I'm travelling from the opposite side of the island, being a little off is expected.

All because why? You don't have a bloody bank account for me to transfer money to. So laoniang the customer has to cater to your every whim.

And what is this thing about caps? Why should I pay and wait and wait for you to reach some stupid cap before I get my shirt?

And what if you never reach your cap? Do I never get my shirt?

And what if you run away with my money? I know I'm a rich old woman now who can pretend I just donated the 10 odd dollars to some old and blind beggar but I dislike being cheated. I hate being placed in a position where it's so easy to be cheated as well.

Oh and you will say that you're good, honest people who don't scam. Like rapists, murderers and other psychopaths go around screaming, "hey I'm a bad guy!"

And so, that aside.

I decided to set up my own blogshop!

I got a lobang already, if I really want, I know where to go to get my designs printed cheaply. I need a partner in crime. Yvonne, msn me when you're free, I want u as partner in crime.

22.6.08 9:33 PM

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Work's ok I guess. I really got a fright in my life when I came this morning. In 24 hours, we managed to double the number of patients. The ward was only half filled when I left and now, it's filled to the brim!

And so we worked like dogs the whole morning, the whole place was a war zone, with medical doctors, orthopaedic doctors and don't-know-what-other-discipline doctors coming in and out, grabbing our files and traumatising everyone.

One of my patients nearly ran out of the ward. Not kidding, he literally tried to run out, though I missed that funny sight. Hahahah but that's not SO funny if he really escapes, cos yours truly would be executed with immediate effect la. They must have traumatised him so badly.

And today, I saw something that touched me a lot. I saw that man, who tried to run away, hyperventilating away but calmed down significantly after talking to his wife. I saw the deep love between them, I saw how the wife, though scared and in a don't-know-what-to-do state of mind calmed him down, just being who she is.

Everyday, in this ward, I'm seeing/hearing so many stories that make me appreciate everything I have, particularly my sanity.

Jokes aside, but if you can function without popping pills, be thankful, a lot of other people wish they have your life. It breaks my heart to see them pop the pills I give them day in, day out. But really, do we have another choice here?

A mental illness is not something you'd even wish on your worse enemies. And the biggest problem is not the illness itself but the stigma.

17.6.08 8:11 PM

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Finally la!

Friday the 13th, a short guy came knocking on my door, bringing with him my photocard license. I'm a happy lil woman.

The moment of signing for the card was not half as enjoyable as that boring video. I sat smiling to myself in that video room.

But I'll never forget the moment when I saw my license. It was a bittersweet moment. Driving was both, enjoyable yet expensive yet frustrating. And that chapter of my life, closed, another milestone achieved.

I'm not done showing off my license yet.

16.6.08 6:44 PM

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Goodbye

People who attempt suicide may not want to die, they just don't wanna live their life anymore.
A subtle diff that makes a world of diff if you get it.
And of course I'm not referring to myself because I'm a happy little girl these days. Overworked, but still happy.
Traffic police is really not sincere about giving me my license. I think they know I'm crazy. :p
Waiting and still waiting...
If I wait too long, I might decide to march down to their production centre to help myself with the production of my card.

12.6.08 10:07 PM

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Work's been ok so far, make a few mistakes here and there but it's all good. I'm doing well, my boss said.

It's terrible, I think they're not sincere in giving me my photocard license. I just went to Traffic police website to check out the delivery status and they said it should take 2 weeks for it to reach me. Well, it's been 15 days, and the slot in my wallet meant for my license is...still empty.

*irritated look*

Well, not like anyone's gonna let me out on the roads anytime soon!

But yea, this has got to be my biggest achievement in my 2 decades of life on earth. Because driving is a skill, a little like cycling. But cycling I picked up from my dad, free of charge and within days so I guess I don't really treasure it. And when you're a driver, it's so adult sounding, like I'm finally not a little girl.

The other day I went cycling and it was so funny. It's been a long, long time since I cycled. I think the last time I cycled was like before I started my driving adventure. And I'm becoming a little mad, getting pissed with kids who have little respect for lane markings, checking blind spots, giving way to traffic on the main road.

*rolls eyes*

I don't even purposely do it, my head just turns automatically. I still hear my instructor's voice going, "press brake, press brake, you're going too fast." and I'm looking around for speed limits. For the record, the highest speed limit sign I found was 15km/hr.

Back to the biggest achievement in my life so far. A girl should have a license even if she's preparing to be a tai tai in the passenger seat. And get a manual license at least. Most kidnappers drive vans, vans use manual gears. If you know how to drive, you can at least run away.

*shifty eyes*

Ok, next thing I'm gonna do is learn how to sail. In case they use sail boats instead.

10.6.08 8:44 PM

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I feel like stabbing myself with a dagger and hang my eyeballs on toothpicks.

What in the world is wrong with me? I don't know why I'm so slow, one may even suspect I'm mentally retarded.

Hiyah, 2008 seems to be license acquiring year for me.
-April 2008: RN license
-May 2008: Driving license

A pity I have to be on probation for these two licenses. And I just wanna be a good driver and nurse. I think I made like don't know how many mistakes in the last 24 days at work, it scares me. Ya la, ya la, new you surely make mistakes. But I feel dumb. I feel bad everytime I make a mistake or have to amend something and I feel like I should be packed off to NYP for another 3 years or so.

I've said it before, it seems as if I might never get my license. But I did, eventually.

Now it seems as if I'll always make silly mistakes, forget to sign this or do this. Maybe one day, I'll be an expert, but now it really feels like it'll never happen.

Another work day tmr, a whole stretch of morning shifts. How like that? I think I'm gonna become a panda and collapse from exhaustion.

8.6.08 8:25 PM

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Wah kua tio gui!

Hahaha not me la, darling's family kua tio gui la. It was seriously quite scary, hahaha and we were talking about it in a middle of a mini celebration.

Anyway, I was telling my family the story and my dad the ghost buster decided to tell us about some of his ghostly encounters and scared the living daylights out of my timid lil sister. She really reminds me of a rat/mouse la.

1) She loves cheese
2) She's timid, every lil noise can scare her
3) She's scared of cats. HATES them, fantasises about killing them etc...
Seriously, if she marries a cat lover, WWIII will break out.

I gave myself the biggest shock in my life la. I was *ahem* managing my finances. And...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I found that I spent over $1500 in 3 months.

I nearly died from the shock ok? Wtf?! I'm not some crazy shoe maniac who bought 30 pairs of shoes in 3 months. In fact I only went for my first shopping trip in months 2 days ago la!

So I did a more in depth calculation and realised I just scared myself for nothing. My actual expenditure is only about $200 or so and the bulk of this money went to my driving lessons and housekeeping money.

Heng ah! I was seriously struggling to remember how I spent all these money when I still owe my sister a big birthday present.

Thank God I passed. Else I think I'll have to spend more and more. Driving lessons are super duper expensive la, especially nearing your test date for private students. Most private instructors will book circuit lessons nearing your test date. Good for you if you get the feel within a few lessons, cos for those catch no ball students, you'll need more then the average students and spend like dunno how much more la.

And you can't give up once you start your practical lessons. Unless you wanna spend hundreds for nothing. No license=waste money. You have to take until you pass. Either that or marry someone who can drive and wait to be driven around.

I just want a small little lime green car. Actually, it'll be cute to have a small little princess pink car. Then decorate the car with furry pink stuff. Hahaha most prob I'll be ousted from the highway by those MCPs who think I'm just a stupid bimbo who can't drive.

4.6.08 5:30 PM

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