♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

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No pics today :(

But I've got a pretty good reason for it...

'Cos me and my sis spent like 2 hours killing a cockroach!

A big one leh! So kill until no time to take pics :(

It all started around 1 pm when we were dressing up. My sis was getting her clothes for the day when she spotted a fat cockroach smiling at her. She screamed, I screamed too even though I didn't know why she screamed.

"Oh my God! COCKROACH!" My sis screeched in disgust.

She ran off to get the spray and a stick while I stayed to watch if the cockroach tried to escape.

Using the stick, I poked at the clothes, trying to lure the cockroach out of its hiding place. My sis held the spray and was given the sacred task of spraying at it when the cockroach appeared.

She: "OH MY GOD! I SEE IT!"
Me: "SPRAY! SPRAY!"
*Sis sprays at the cockroach as if her life depended on it*

As we sprayed at the fatso, we were screaming like mad as well. Can you imagine, 2 loonies, one with a stick, the other with the insecticide spraying at a cupboard while screaming away? If cockroaches have ears, the cunning fatso would have died a deaf cockroach! But I'm just glad the neighbours didn't call the police...

Anyway, it ran and hid itself amongst her folded clothes. Good choice man, now we have to empty the whole cupboard excluding the hanged clothes. One by one, using the stick of cos, we checked through bags, clothes and what not. Those declared 'safe' would be pushed aside. To play it safe, we would even step on the clothes and bags. I mean, cockroaches CAN hide in really tiny places, ya know?

Guess what? Like that also cannot find! We sprayed the fatso cockroach half to death so it's quite impossible that it would leave my sister's cupboard alive. Wanna die also make it so hard for us to find the corpse! And I'm not exaggerating about the spraying part, I think we used about 1/4 can of insecticide on it.

You know what were my parents doing throughout this exciting cockroach killing experience? Dad was sleeping away while my mum was happily watching some HK serial on DVD.

So yea, both don't help suan le, mum still can come in and ask what the hell is going on, why is the room in a mess yada yada...

So bo pian, she come in and rush us, we have to clear the mess and get ready, pray that we don't reach inside our shorts' pocket one day to find a dead cockroach lor.

To play it safe, we checked through those stuff again, going through the same ritual. Check through stuff using stick and stepping on them again just in case. In the end, still nothing.

So I continued dressing up while my sis folded the clothes. As she folded, she gave a loud screech, same one when she found the cockroach.

I went, "where? where is it?"

"There! There!" she pointed excitedly at the floor.

I gathered my weapons but realised the cockroach is already 3/4 dead. But to play safe, I sprayed at it again. Then I covered the cockroach with a stack of newspaper, you think for what? To give it a decent death? Your head la!

I STEPPED ON THE NEWSPAPERS REPEATEDLY! As punishment for making US work so hard to find the body, and who ask it to scare us? 3/4 dead already still wanna move the legs as if trying to fight us.

*psychotic look*

DIE YOU SICK CHILD! WANNA DIE AT LEAST MAKE IT EASIER FOR US TO FIND YOUR STINKY CORPSE LA! I WOULD HAVE SPARED YOU THE CRUSHING PART IF YOU MADE MY LIFE EASIER.

So yup, cockroach killed. We can leave the house happily, assured that there are no more disgusting free loaders around.

I also think killing cockroaches/lizards is an expensive affair. Esp cockroaches cos they can fly and you're gonna waste a lot of insecticide like that. See, one can of insecticide costs something like $8. If I kill one cockroach, I'd need about 1/4 can of it. That works out to be about $2 per cockroach/lizard killed. And all for what? I also never ask the cockroach/lizard to come to my house? Why should I pay to get rid of an uninvited guest?

And what if they eat my food and I unknowingly eat after them, end up with food poisoning how? Who's gonna pay for my medical fees?

They always say human beings are the superior species. I think we're just saying that to comfort ourselves. In actual fact, we're the stupid species. We work all day to put food on the table only to feed these disgusting freeloaders. We rack our heads to make insecticide and then what? These idiots become immune to them and we have to come up with more!

And that's not all. We can't fly and they can. So some scare us by threatening to fly in our faces!

I know of some who simply drive the cockroach out and will not kill it. For me, I'll show no mercy to these shameless bastards! DOWN WITH THE COCKROACHES! LET NO COCKROACH LEAVE YOUR HOUSE ALIVE!

COCKROACHES! SAY YOUR PRAYERS! PRAY THAT I'LL STILL HAVE MY COCKROACH PHOBIA FOR A FEW MORE YEARS! AT MOST KENA SPRAYED TO DEATH ONLY! ELSE I'D COME UP WITH SO MANY DEVIOUS WAYS TO TORTURE ALL OF YOU TO DEATH.

*psychotic laughter*

9.2.08 12:14 AM

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