<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d37873812\x26blogName\x3d%E2%99%A5+The+Royal+Edict+by+the+Queen+of+all...\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://grumpyqueen.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://grumpyqueen.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d2277420984537278484', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



About the GrumpyQueen


A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

If you wanna be linked, just tag ok?

Favourite posts


| How to revert back to old blogger template |
| Glitz and glamour |
| My lil goddaughter |
| 07/07/07 |
| Universe's theory |
| A senseless mess |
| Last class party pics |
| Rambling about stupid aunties |
| Last day of school pics |
| Last day of school pics |
| Tales of the SINGAPOREAN rojak |
| Killing cockroach with Sis I |
| Killing cockroach with Sis II |
| You know you're a Nurse when... |
| Thailand 2007 |
| Taiwan 2008 |
Friends


My old blog | My other blog | Anru |Bernard | Arianz | Cherryl | Candice | Christine | Darren |Emma | Fel | Lady Rose | Moose | Mable Bee | Oda | Princess Snow | Toe Queen | Yvonne |


Credits


Designed by islenska | Blogger | Blogskins.com


Speak To Me


Please use my haloscan to comment on specific posts by clicking on the
"Speak your mind"
link at the end of each post.

For misc/random comments just tag on the latest post.

I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

Thanks! :)


History


December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

Day 18



Day 18 in a psy ward. Not as a patient but a nurse. :p

I feel like I'm finally at home, I feel like it's what I'm born to do. I also feel I could do much more, given time.

I wanna write these thoughts down because I'm afraid I'll lose them as time goes by. I might stop believing in my ability to do much more as time flies by.

Trust me, I've seen/experienced so much in these 18 days, probably more than what an average person would see/experience in 18 months. I cannot go into explicit details though I wish I could.

1) Things aren't always what it seems
2) Mental patients are not strapped to beds 24/7
3) They're human beings, not psychopaths locked up so they don't harm innocent people
4) We do not drug them until they become gong gong and remain drowsy all day long
5) We do not lock them up in those padded cells with a small glass window like what you see on TV
6) What you see on TV is rubbish, they have a psy problem, they're not retarded, with saliva dripping out of their mouths. The actors/actress do a lousy job acting as a mental patient. They're mentally ill, not retarded. I actually believe some are smarter than us.
7) I think people with a tidak apa attitude have minimal chance of developing mental illness. People who take life seriously usually have a higher chance

I know. Random facts I picked out on the job.

31.5.08 12:21 AM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Comp's a basket case



Yesterday I was trying desperately to come online to de-stress. Told me I had some limited connectivity or some shit.

My sister, who is on her laptop is happily surfing the net.

Like that how can?! I know it was past midnight and therefore it's her birthday but they can't do this to me! It's still my birthday month!

Called starhub and when I finally got to speak to a human being, he told me things like my password is corrupted that's why only I can't go online. Told me to call my router's helpline for help. Gave me the number as well.

Called the router's helpdesk. Seriously, I have no complaints about their service but I don't understand their accent! I don't know if it's an American accent or Fillipino one. I just don't understand! And at 12:21 a.m, after 8 hours of work, the very last thing I wanna do is decipher accents.

So she told me to switch off the router or whatever. I told her to hold on 'cos I needed to inform my sis that her connection will be affected. By the time I came back to the line, the line got cut off. I felt like I was in some ulu kampong.

Where got like that? 1 min or so and I get cut off!

By now, my blood's probably coming to a boil.

1) Call starhub, cannot help
2) Call router's helpdesk, kena cut off
3) Problem still not solved.

I called back again, with good mind to scream into the phone the moment a human being talks to me. When I heard the ringtone, they cut me off AGAIN!

How rude la. I decided to try again and give them a piece of mind. This time, I didn't get cut off. The moment a human being spoke on the other end, miraculously, my MSN started working and I could go online.

Problem solved. I suspect my sister's ninjas were planning this, it's her birthday present. Or maybe the lizards were behind this, they're doing this 'cos they don't like me.

You know something? Everyone's a little crazy, some just don't get discovered. :p

Anyhow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

30.5.08 10:17 AM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

They say a pic tells a thousand words...




Thank you for all your wishes, good lucks, prayers, tips and most importantly, for your ears. I've been ranting about my driving lessons, crazy instructor and my friends have been lovely, just listening and giving me advice where appropriate.

1 attempt at BTT
2 attempts at FTT
3 attempts at TP

Finally a driver.

If I still fail this attempt and stick with this madman, I'd lose my mind sooner or later. On Sunday, I only reached home about 10 plus since I was on afternoon shift. On Monday, I have a VERY early lesson at 7 a.m. Apparently, some idiot has a test on Monday and would be taking my 8 a.m. slot. Stupid bugger!

I spent $6 on my cab fare to CDC because I was just too tired to rush there. Also good la, you very rarely have so many mad people who'd come for a 7 a.m. lesson, no one fought with me in the circuit. I wanna park, I park, wanna do S course, I do. No time wasted on waiting, I think I did each item like dunno how many times.

I said I was gonna write about my success story when I pass.

Here we go...

1) Look like you're mature enough to handle a car. My first two tests, I wore my normal outdoor clothes and looked like a normal poly kid. The testers were super quiet and looked quite unfriendly. My 3rd test I wore clothes good enough for a job interview. Maybe it was a coincidence but the tester was friendlier, chattier and that decreased my anxiety levels. So yea, they're not young punks, they believe in appropriate clothes and not in fashion.

2) Book 7 a.m. lessons for more practise. That stupid 7 a.m. lesson was a blessing in disguise. Less time spent waiting, more time for practise. Otherwise just book the peak hour lessons. Not many people will wanna spend extra money unless they're really desperate, so chances are, you spend less time waiting. But 7 a.m. lessons are still the best.

3) Practise and just practise. Some people learn fast, others a little slower. Just don't give up, you'll get your license soon. And if your instructor's mad like mine, ask your friends for tips. Helps if you've got funny friends/family who'd tell you to purposely knock down the poles so he'll stop shouting, get out of the car to pick them up and you can drive off with HIS car while he's picking up the poles. :p

4) Every test helps you learn better. Never mind if people laugh at you for taking so many tests. No prizes for passing at first attempt, it doesn't make you a better driver or shorten your probation period. Each failure taught me something, I don't know if I'm a better driver than first-timers but I probably have more confidence in my driving skills. Read: driving skills, not parking skills!

5) Find your own method of agar-ation. My instructor's method worked only to some extent, most of the time I found my own way to agar when to turn the steering, how much to turn. I striked kerb, mount kerb and had my instructor going ballistic almost every circuit lesson but I needed to fail to succeed. No choice lor, let him yell and take his anti-hypertensives, at most I'd call an ambulance if he burst a vessel. But please la, only do funny things in the circuit, nothing much can happen when you're driving at 20km/h. On the roads, listen to your instructor and trust his instincts, you act smart, I don't know how many people will meet their makers because of you.

That's it. I'm waiting for my photocard license to arrive in the post. Went to specially take a picture a few days before my test. I will NOT allow a picture which was haphardly taken to be on a license I worked so hard for.


27.5.08 4:50 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

No one else comes close



A picture tells a thousand words. I went for another free makeover for my graduation ceremony. I don't know la, I think it's written on my face, "ugly but cheapo, please offer free makeover" or something. :p

But I don't really care, since I got the free makeovers, call me cheapo or whatever but I got a makeover for FREE while people are paying something like $60. And twice some more! :p

Nisa can't wait for my wedding. This gal is so cute, she herself went for the makeover with me and got one but was admiring mine.

Oh ya, I also took a passport sized picture so I can use it for my license. Please pray that this woman here pass this time. My instructor is getting on my nerves. You know what he did or not? Arrange a circuit slot at 7 am! Wah lao! Too bloody much la, this crazy man.

THIS, is almost the last straw. Fail again and I'd be forced to take school because I no longer have faith in these crazy private instructors.

Which means I'd be broke. :(
Which means I'm gonna cut costs by either
a) not getting presents cos I don't know what you want
b) getting cheap presents
c) try to wrangle a treat out of my friends every now and then

Hiyah, just pray I pass la. Pray, wish me luck or whatever.

And ya, enjoy the pics and the song...

Pre ceremony. Cam-whoring in the toilet of Marina square













Pre ceremony at the auditorium

The kids from the south (love this pic)

The vegetarian and the carnivore.

*roars*

*licks blood*

The gal and the beautiful mama

Was checking out my makeup by taking a pic. :p



THE ceremony time!



Distance couldn't separate us la, this was taken by Darling though we were seated like one row apart.


For some reason, I feel like this pic's gonna be on my obituary some day...





Post ceremony

Me and the sis. She made this pic her wallpaper.
"So that the next time I switch on the laptop, people will know I have a sister."
That's so cute and sweet of her la! So proud to have me as a sis. :p


This babe here needs no intro

The gal and the baby






The gals and the mummy



So cute right? If you can't see from the pic, she's dressed in PINK and HELLO KITTY 'cos those are her mum's favourite. Hahahaha at least her mum never decorate her with bells! :p

So mean la! *slaps self*


This is us trying to be funny by modifying our outfit a little.
I know we look a bit cuckoo here but if you don't do silly things when we're young, are we supposed to do them when we're old and demented?

Hey hey! We look like some law school grads or not? :p
And I personally like this pic a lot!


No One Else Comes Close - Joe

24.5.08 9:05 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed




When someone's dead to the world, don't wake them up, even if they're sleeping on ridiculous places like the sofa or floor of the living room. It may be the best sleep they had in days.

21.5.08 10:20 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Where black is black, and blue is just blue



I messed up. I'm a useless fuck.

Although there are points that can redeem myself, such as inexperience, I still feel I need to speed up and learn the ropes FAST.

I've got a driving lesson tmr. Another $60 'cos it's a circuit lesson. When can I not see his face again? I'm so sick of paying and paying for my lessons. Why can't I have a driving instructor father?

Where got people like that? Wanna save that 1k or so wish for a driving instructor dad! Might as well wish for a dad who prints money, even 10k is a drop in the ocean for him.

I'm gonna study now. No matter how much I do, I feel like it's not gonna help, I'll never be done.

9:03 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Natural's the way to go



Today, I went for facial and while doing my face, this gal came in and wanted the beautician to do her eyebrows. She was apparently going for some stupid competition. The beautician asked if she wanted to do some professional makeup since she offers makeup service too.

"No need la, I think 自然就是美."

"Huh? Cannot la, how can like that?"

I nearly shouted from inside my curtain, "then why the hell are you plucking your eyebrows? Go there with unruly eyebrows la!"

Because the eyebrow plucking thing's gonna cost 5 bucks while getting makeup done will prob cost anything between 20 to 30 bucks.

She's so unwilling to invest in the audition, I think she doesn't deserve to win.

My sis was waiting outside. According to her, the girl is not pretty at all and wearing really thick makeup with lots of eyeliner to make her eyes look big. Give me a fright! She said natural's the way to go, I really thought she's only go there with plucked eyebrows to scare the living daylights out of the judges there.

Cheapskate dun say, say you are going for the natural look. Pui!

Thing is, I don't buy this natural's the way to go crap. Then don't pluck your eyebrows and shave your armpit hair. Don't rebond or cut your hair. Don't brush your teeth, dont wear perfume. Heck, you should even bathe with flowers since soap is man made.

My stand is this, girls should make up. We should do whatever we can to improve our natural qualities. If your eyes is small, use eyeliner. If you got bad skin, go for facial and use concealer. If you have ugly hair, fix it. Not for anyone but ourselves. Girls are made to make the world look better. We can be rich and smart while we're at it too. :p

I don't mean we need to look dramatically made up. Makeup is used to bring out the best qualities in you and to hide the flaws as much as possible.

And if you've done at least one thing in your life to improve your look, don't be a hypocrite and tell me natural's the way to go.

I don't believe in going all natural. Neither do I believe in overdoing it. But covering our flaws and bringing out our best features, that's basic respect. For yourself and whoever's going to meet you on the streets.

Post note editorial: I should go and die. I just allowed myself to go downstairs with pimple cream on my face, oily skin and messed up hair. This natural's the way shit is getting to me. I will not repeat it again, I will make sure I fix my hair and face before ever stepping out of my gate. No need to make up la, making up to go downstairs is overdoing it.

18.5.08 9:01 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

I'm giving up



Yesterday I got so violently upset at someone whose stupidity and arrogance hit the fucking limit.

Seriously, I don't know why I even bothered to tell her, or why I allowed myself to be affected by her. It's not worth it, for someone who can't even be bothered to understand where I'm coming from, it's not worth it.

Seek first to understand, than to be understood.

I heard that phrase at least twice in the last week, little did I expect to apply it so soon. I understood, she didn't understand. But that's ok, it's her loss not mine.

I saw myself of 16/17 in her. The arrogance, the I'm-better-than-the-rest mindset all magnified in her. Hahaha, seriously, I was not half as deluded as her.

This kind of people need a hard knock to their head. And if they manage to get up after the knock, swing the door at their face. They need to be knocked repeatedly until they see the problem and stop asking, "why are you doing this? I did nothing wrong!"

Thankfully, I got my knocks in time, I'm less deluded these days.

"If you're good, you don't have to tell others. People will know you're good and they will say it for you."

17.5.08 8:15 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed




I managed to wake up at 05:30 a.m. today, dragged myself to the toilet to bathe and dress up for work. I almost tied myself to my cupboard because the bed was calling out to me to lie on it, tempting me, this evil lil creature.

I swear I almost died at work today. They've been feeding my tired lil brain with a lot of info, which I really appreciate 'cos some other ward might just leave me to swim my way through. Went for a one hour talk and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I was so tired, I think I can even sleep while walking.

I don't even know why I'm so tired. I think I've got sufficient sleep but it feels like I've only slept for 3 hours when I've slept for more than 7 hours. Today I came home and slept for 2 hours or so. And still I feel like I need more sleep!

How like that? How can I function when can I function when I'm so sleepy all the time?

14.5.08 9:24 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

I'm so tired I nearly went mad



Not kidding, I thought I was gonna die from exhaustion or something. Today, I think I walked 3000 times around the ward with one lil old lady.

I think you become a little slimmer looking after dementia patients because they keep forgetting that they've done a particular thing before and keep doing it. Never mind if they forgot they've eaten, food we have plenty, we can always give it to them. Thing is, if they keep forgetting that they've "patrolled" a particular area before, they'll keep wanting to walk and so, good luck to whoever's gonna walk with them. I think the distance we walked today can be measured in km.

I could have gone nuts with all the walking la!

And what's more, I need to collect my stupid graduation gown. I only realised today that NYP is so big and of all places, they had to hide the collection centre at some ulu destination in business school.

Ok, so I combed the whole of business school, totally forgetting that business school has a first floor! Yea, in nyp, some school blocks start with level 2 instead of level 1 cos we're supposedly on a hill. I asked a bunch of punks playing loud music and they told me to collect it at Forum. Where the hell is that? I never heard of that place in all my 3 years la!

And so they told me it was block E. So fine, I walked from block B to E, bearing in mind I'd already combed the whole business school prior to this and am lugging my uniform and shoes around. I'm sweaty, irritated, pressed for time and hungry.

To be fair, they were just being nice but I'd rather they just shut up and save me all the walking. One of them was quite nice, he asked if I'd found the place when he saw me walking back. I told him, in my nicest tone that that's not where we should collect, still irritated that I had to walk so much.

So I found the place and there was this chirpy young girl who went on and on about the gowns, order forms and what not. I felt like stapling her mouth to stop her from talking! Then there was this fella at the counter who was trying to be funny but I don't appreciate his joke. I forced a laugh, said thank you and walked away.

Which reminds me, I'll have to be a good worm today, sleep early, wake up at 5:30 a.m. for work. And my stupid phone keeps hanging on me! I need to bring it down to nokia soon.

13.5.08 8:40 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Could you just listen?



When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same paper.

I can do for myself; I'm not helpless - maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.

When that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make more sense when we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people - because God is mute, and He/She doesn't give advice or try to fix things.

"They" just listen and let you work it out for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me.

And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn - and I'll listen to you.
--Author Unknown--


12.5.08 7:58 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Mother's day



I think my mum is a big fan of our artwork. When we were younger we used to make her mother's day cards. We made them thinking it's gonna end up in the bin like within the next 5 seconds. But being kids, we did them anyway.

And she being mum, accepted them anyway, never said it's ugly and never threw a single one away. She laughed at my sis idea of sticking green beans on her mother's day cards though. But kept them to this day, with the green beans!

Years passed and we grew older. Somehow, we thought cards were childish and stopped making them. We saved up and bought presents for her. But I think she liked those childish cards more.

So this year, my sis and me got together to make this.








Yea, us hard at work. You know you're not a kid anymore when you start co-ordinating colours, thinking of what colour goes with what colour before starting to paint instead of just sitting down and starting to paint what you like.
The end result looks like what a normal butterfly would look. Like we saw a luminous green horse that day, how I envy the child's creativity and boldness. I wish I took a pic of that green horse, looked so neopets-like. I think horses look pretty in neon colours, scientists should do some research and make us some neon coloured horses!

7:22 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Happy birthday to me!



Thank you all for remembering. The biggest surprise was when people I hardly knew came up to wish me. It was like some domino effect, they just kept wishing and wishing, I nearly went mad with all the wishing. It's always nice to get a birthday greeting, even from people you hardly know.

Darling, as expected wished me at 12:02 am, making her the first wisher of the year. And basically, the black and white pic of me in the toilet was taken because I was really so bored I had to run away to the toilet. I felt like at least 2 people might die if I continue sitting in that stupid auditorium.

Thank God for teabreaks la. I can take more pics and practise smiling with my mouth closed. I think it's so sweet lor, those people who can smile without teeth. I cannot, I can't smile with my mouth close to save my life. For evidence, please look at the pic grid above.

Yvonne, God bless her soul, remembered to wish me on time la! Usually she's the kind that'll suddenly remember it's my birthday like one week later and wish me. Hahaha normally the late queen, even wishing me happy birthday also must be late. This year, she actually called me twice during my lecture, when my brain was half fried trying to wish me. And she thought I can pon work! *faints*

Candice the usually punctual one became the first to wish me happy belated birthday at 12:02 a.m. on the 7th of may. I don't blame her, exams can fry one's brains.

I'm really tired, emotionally more than physically. I'm biting my tongue a lot these days, so much I think it's gonna drop out. Can all of you pray really hard that I get my license this time, I don't give a shit if I passed on the dot or not, I just want the stupid license, my deposit back and never those bloodsuckers again.

Bloody idiots, raise the prices so many times. I look stupid to you is it? Keep raising the price for what? Petrol prices go up, what has that got to do with the circuit? Just happy happy raise the circuit price. Seriously, if this time I fail, I'm really gonna consider 1) going to school to do my circuit until swee swee 2) changing instructors 3) giving up driving.

Option 3 is not quite viable cos i very seldom give up on something I've spent reasonably a large amount of money on.

6.5.08 11:34 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed

Losing it



Almost everyone's pissing me off, stepping on my tail these days. I seem to be the one with the problem, I have a problem getting my point across.


I don't even know how to relate to my some of my friends anymore. Let's just say that sometimes, perhaps when we started the friendship, I was not myself. Such that when I find myself again, I can't relate to the friends I've made while I was not myself. I'm not saying that's the absolute truth, I'm trying to analyse why.


Look! I'm friggin trying to be nice to people. I try, very hard not to be mean or sarcastic, try to bite my tongue where possible but this is really too much to bear.


And just because the people around me are nice, without a bad bone in them means I'm just like them! I have a temper that can make people regret knowing me.

And trust me, whatever I said yesterday was not the meanest things that can come out from me. I just don't wanna cause a riot that's all.

Ok, that's for the first group of people who pissed me off. I'm not saying they belong to the same social circle, they just pissed me off in the same way.

The next group of people, I'm so amazed at the amount of stupidity one can have la. No common sense, bodoh, no appreciation for aesthetics la. How someone can produce something so ugly and still be proud of it is beyond my comprehension.

I sound like a total bitch. I don't really care, because I cared too much, was too nice and now I'm exhausted.

1.5.08 10:04 PM

Bookmark me
RSS feed