♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

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It would kill me if I lost your friendship

Interesting day. Got free Starbucks coffee. Not really free, had to donate something but it's much lesser than what you'd pay for on a normal day.

There was this weird fella on the train today. He scared me a bit. He was just weird, I didn't know if ignoring him was better or laughing was better.

The best part of the day was this interesting tutorial I had. Sort of like a therapy. The logic was that you need to be self aware and willing to open up before you can get people to open up. I suppose I was one of the girls that didn't cry. I don't think it's because I was unfeeling, it's just that I don't like crying in front of everyone. It's not because I cannot show my real character, what I'm really feeling inside. I've done it before and really felt better. Today's session was very rewarding, I really wanted an opportunity to clear things up with my group, to apologise sincerely for making their lives miserable for a whole 1.5 semester.

I also got the chance to thank the people who's been taking all my crap. I mean a lot of it. I'm really grateful for this bunch of friends, accepting and tolerant. They spoil me a lot...

I wish everyone I ever knew was there. Looking back, I just feel like an asshole sometimes. It seemed like all I ever did was to hurt and hurt more.

You're a very good listener and sometimes, I feel terrible putting you through all these. If anything, I don't think I've shown you enough appreciation for the stuff you've done, for the times you've been there and the support you've given me. It's not that I don't know what you've been doing but the very last thing I want for you is to be stifled by me. I know I tend to over protect the people I love and care for and it's going to be suffocating after some time. I wanted to give you space, I might have given you too much space it seems like I don't care.

When people laugh and smile, it might not be because it's funny. It might be because it hurts too much to talk about it seriously. I don't know when this charade's going to end.

7.12.06 9:17 PM

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