♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

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I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

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History

December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

Someone got admitted that got me thinking of a certain issue more deeply. Though I do not know her personally, it struck me 'cos she was once working alongside my seniors. And now, a patient.

These days, I've been thinking...What if, I become mentally ill?

Working with them made me think of my own mental well-being. Opened my eyes to the problems they faced.

I thought about it and realised that I'd probably have to seek treatment from the mountain healers in Timbatu.

Simple reason, it's almost inevitable that I'd meet someone I know. Can you imagine? Having your whole life story known to people you're not close friends with, but only civil to?

I think they might as well publish my story in the cluster newslater la!

Ok, enough of the depressing stuff.

I think my mom makes the best fried bee tai bak in the world! I know this is random but it was so good I had 2 plates of it. The best part is, it's not the prettiest dish at all.

Who says the best of dishes has to look good?

I regret not taking a pic before I started eating. This was all that was left of the dish when I remembered.

My sis thought I was crazy for taking such a pic. Thanks ar!

I'm still so hungry leh. How? 胖死你！

27.7.08 9:34 PM

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Damn those lizards!

I vow to find a way to cruelly get rid of them, and their best friend Xiaoqiang (roaches).

Did you know insecticides don't work on lizards? You can spray and spray away and it won't touch them! They're still very much alive!

How ar? Am researching now on how to kill lizards, will let all of you know.

Supposedly, they only have this stick-on lizard traps being sold in NTUC. Thanks ar, so I stick them all around my house? Dont tell me to stick them where I always find them 'cos they seem to be everywhere.

We killed the resident lizard in my toilet.

The kitchen one...akan datang. He got away.

My room has one, I think it goes to the hall sometimes, that dark brown little piece of shit.

And the best of all is, we have one big fat piece of cow shit who I suspect is female and producing all these little shit. That whore, I'll sterilise her if I'm not so scared of their cold, flaccid bodies.

So old already still don't know how to conduct herself properly, that horny bitch.

I think we killed one of her stupid kids just one or two months back. But that's not much use since they'll just keep producing more and more.

I mean, what is this nonsense la? I won't really mind if they pop up with I'm having a drink or something but appearing when I'm having my shower is not ethical at all. How can I ever enjoy my showers or shit in peace?

And all these, done in my house. Scare the living daylights of the legal occupants, what stupid nonsense is this? Can't they roam outside our houses? Don't give me the crap that got not enough food outside, that's why they come inside. Not enough food, don't give birth so many. Family planning, that's what we humans do.

Oh, maybe they're Catholic, which is why they don't practise artificial contraception and residing in my home. But then again, we have natural family planning. If my parents, and so many other Catholic parents can stop at 2, I don't see why they can't.

OK enough, enough. Enough of speculation. Who's in charge of these lizards?

I'm gonna warn them, I'm capable of anything if they're too much. I'll get the most tigo roaches to rape their females and castrate the males. Then when we've settled that, I'll punish the cockroaches for rape and start executing them.

Now we know why I'm not the government.

23.7.08 4:48 PM

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the most pathetic person

Is one who tries to sleep after her night but woke up of hunger. It happens all the time, the only reason why I won't sleep is because I'm hungry. Give me food and I'll be fine.

I would eat, but I already ate a lot and am starting to feel fat.

Someone tell me what to do, save me from the madness

22.7.08 4:25 PM

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but you wanted to be a nurse...

I don't understand why almost everyone I meet is telling me this. Why? I look unhappy with my job is it?

When I say I'm tired after my night, sleep until I don't know if it's day or night, don't even know the date today because I have to work from 9pm till the next morning for night shift and it's quite hard keeping track of dates like that, people tell me...

"but you wanted to be a nurse"

When I say I've got no time to meet my friends and really wanna see them, they tell me the same thing.

Why? I cannot rant is it? Just because I wanted to be a nurse, I've lost the right to complain about the sucky aspects of my job?

Face it. People WILL HATE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF THEIR JOB! I never said I was quitting, I only wanted a rant. So stop making it sound like I was gonna quit just because I was ranting.

I mean it's true. Sometimes people rant about their partners. Does that mean they're gonna dump them?

People also say they're sick and tired of their life. Does that mean they're gonna kill themselves?

People also say they can't stand their fats, are they gonna slice it off?

Well, you get the point...

Nurses are human. Just because we're in a "NOBLE profession" doesn't mean we have lost the right to complain. We're made of flesh too, we get tired, grumpy and can get upset with fucking demanding people.

To deprive us of the opportunity to rant is like telling the doctors they can't fall sick because they're the healers.

3:33 PM

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It's been 2 months and 4 days and I enjoyed every day of it.

Just now, on the way back, I came to realise something. To make fun of psy patients is like making a joke about one's own mother.

The only one who has the right to make fun of the illness or the behaviour is the patient himself/herself.

Just like it's rude to call someone's mother fat or say things like, "hey I saw your mum the other day at the mall and when she waved at me, all her fats jingled, going left, right, left..."

What will you do if someone said that of your mother? I think I might pluck out all their pubic hair and force them to eat their own snort. But it's fine to tease your own mother playfully right? I know mine doesn't really mind, if she's in a good mood that is...

I'm not saying we can't laugh behind closed doors because of something the patient said/did. But calling someone siao lang(mad person) or kuku or nutcase or whatever name you can think of is very rude.

We laugh, but we still wreck our brains to think of how to help them. And we have to laugh, if you're in the healthcare industry and you don't find something funny to laugh about every day, you'll be a very miserable walking zombie in a matter of months.

And you say someone is not well, not tell them "you're still not very right up here."

And when you spend time talking to the patient and they say things like, "you're a really good person, you spend so much time and effort talking to a nutcase", the feeling you get is different from when someone outside the field, educated or otherwise tells you things like, "get out of there, why do you need to spend so much time on these crazy people?"

It takes a bigger nutcase to recognise another.

"Oh, because I'm preparing the place for you, bigger nutcase." *rolls eyes*

But seriously, to say things like psy med is a wast of time it's like asking why don't we all legalise euthanasia? Why must we spend so much time, effort and manpower on terminally ill people? Or why must we amputate someone's limbs to save their lives? Just let them die la! Everyone must die!

No one is an expensive waste of time, except stupid people. But we can always think of cures for stupidity and if all else fail, we should have a good laugh about it and live happily ever after.

16.7.08 5:03 PM

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Shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson-

15.7.08 6:42 PM

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If you don't know what you want, you won't know when it's staring at you in the face.

If you know what you want but won't put in the effort for whatever reason, then you totally deserve being without it.

If what you want belongs to someone else, then letting go seems to be the best option.

12.7.08 8:27 PM

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Stupid lil twit

A few days back there was this tigo lizard in my bathroom peeping at me. Stupid brown, scaly twit.

That twit gave me such a fright in my life I nearly forgot my surname.

What happen was, I was showering, happily soaping myself and getting ready to rinse the lather off when I saw this idiot stuck very close to the tap.

'SHIT!' My brain screamed and for a moment I thought shit was my surname.

Ya, so there I was screaming and screaming for help and to my rescue came my mum and sis who brought the insecticide but it wasn't of much use. A tiny lizard the size of my little finger wouldn't die even after 3 mins of spraying insecticide at it.

At last it ran into the pipe.

A few hours later, my mum spotted the bugger and bumped it off.

Ok, enough of that stupid fella.

The government's gonna kill me for this. for spoiling their pro-family thing. But looking at my patients and how they become trapped in a loveless marriage, how their love can cool off, then they fall into depression and never really come out of it cos they're still trapped in a loveless marriage, can't come out of it "because I won't have a place to stay if I divorce him."

I can only come to one conclusion.

I don't really want to get married. Marriage is a gamble. For the sake of my own sanity, maybe I should not take up the gamble. I think the only reason that's keeping me from saying no completely is 'cos I still want my own kids. And to get my OWN kids, I need to get a guy and yea...we know the drill.

10.7.08 9:15 PM

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This stupid kfc guy pissed me off so much the other day. To cut a long story short, we ordered the foldover and they had to make more cos there were none left.

Anyhow, the guy who served us, let's call him A cos I couldn't be bothered to take down his name. And there was this other fella from the other counter called B who 'stole' our foldover and had the good cheek to shout "foldover zero!"

I suppose it must be their procedure la, to shout out to the kitchen staff if there was no more of that item left.

Of course zero foldover la, 'cos you stole the one that the kitchen folded for us, you dumb shit.

Anyway, the prune head didn't even have the common sense to think why will the kitchen just throw out ONE foldover for fun and not like five or six at one go.

But I forgive him cos he's a stupid prunehead who didn't know better. Still he pissed me off because I had to wait there for an extra ten minutes or so.

Anyway, A was in the wrong too cos he should have fought for his customer's foldover what! That proves beyond reasonable doubt that both are stupid pruneheads and kfc has the misfortune of hiring them both.

Ok enough said about them. But it's been a long while since I found something stupid enough to rant about.

5.7.08 11:27 PM

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Oh happy day!

It'll be Vicky's (goddaughter) first birthday tmr. So fast leh, I've been a godma for one whole entire year. What have I got for her? Frankly, nothing. I want to la, but don't know what to buy for a baby. Errm...toddler.

I'm such a horrible godma. *slaps self*

*smashes head against wall*

*arranges hair back nicely.*

K, chill...

I can't explain this feeling. I love going to work, I love what I do, the people there and everything la. Sometimes, if I got nothing better to do, I love to hang around the place and just talk rubbish. Partly because, well it's air con mah and also, work is more enjoyable when you've got lovely people around.

But...sometimes I literally have to drag myself out of the house to go to work. It's not the work that I dread but prob the journey, like why can't the ward just be at my doorstep kinda of feeling. The feeling you get when you wanna go out and have fun but just too lazy to dress up.

It's very tiring and my brain is being assaulted with all sorts of info day in day out. But I'll never give up.

Oh and there are very little funnily stupid people around me these days, I think they must have died of stupidity la. So basically nothing to rant about.

One thing though, my patients make me laugh, as in laugh until my sides ache and my cheeks hurt, tears are like rolling down my face already. It's definitely very healthy to work with them, since laughing is always good for health.

2.7.08 8:52 PM

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