♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

If you wanna be linked, just tag ok?

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Please use my haloscan to comment on specific posts by clicking on the
"Speak your mind"
link at the end of each post.

For misc/random comments just tag on the latest post.

I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

Thanks! :)

History

December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

New Year's eve

Spent it with Nisa at parkway.

Basically half the time spent taking pics like some Fillipino maid let out on Sunday. I don't know, it just felt like it...

And for all that we've taken, some with Nisa, hopefully she'll have some nice ones...

I'M ONLY PROUD OF THIS!

I thought it was the nicest of all la...

And, and maybe this la...but it just looks kinda of weird, and I can't figure out why.

My '07 resolution was to eat more veggies and wear more pink. The veggies, well I only stuck with it for about 3 months or so before I went back to my constipated self. The pink, last I checked, I went from 1 pink top to like 6 pinks? WOOHOO!!!

I would say 2007 was one hell of a rollar coaster ride, more of an emotional one though. I went from oh-life-is-so-wonderful-and-full-of-hope to it-sucks-just-kill-me.

I developed an identity crisis a few months back. I'm no longer 18, not yet 21, not even out of my teens yet kinda of thing.

I became an 'auntie' thanks to my hello kitty/CGH darling. She delivered a healthy baby gal and is teaching her to call me 'auntie.' Cannot jie jie meh?

I nearly lost 2 friends. And for someone with a pathetic number of friends, losing 2 close ones means a lot to me. But those 2 issues have been resolved. :)

Don't think they read my blog la but just for my satisfaction...

The 2 incidents, which happened quite closely together nearly made me bonkers, especially the one that I did not write anything about. Lagi bonkers la! No outlet leh!

And just for the sake of it.

Resolution for 2008:

- Driving license

- RN license (My Diploma! Oei! gimme leh!)

- Take more pretty pics to admire when I'm old and wrinkly

- Make the people I write about read this damn blog!

- The last resolution...I thought it was a childish whim until recently. We'll see, I don't like taking risks very much. Let's see how it goes. May I learn how to take risks and give in to certain whims.

31.12.07 10:37 PM

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I'm cool because...

I'VE BEEN TO A CONCERT!

yea, roll your eyes or whatever...

Nah actually I'm just a cheapo whose mother had an extra ticket to Fish Leong's concert. So being a classic cheapo, I decided to go.

She's a good singer but the music was too loud for comfort. I felt that if they made it a little softer, I'd be able to appreciate her singing better instead of worrying about my hearing loss later.

*Ahem* Another trait of a cheapo: Get free stuff already still can complain about the quality. Complain le, add the trademark sentence, "Lucky it's free lor, ask me to pay for this kind of lousy thing, I won't pay lor!"

Anyway, I went there expecting to know only one song but as she sang, I realised that she's the singer of many of the songs I like! Woohoo! I was like so thrilled, telling my mum, "this one I know leh..."

Anyway, I'm really tempted to keep a dog. Like really, really want it. The reason?

HIM!!!
Cute right?! Like a toy. What's more this silly dog didn't bark much, just guai guai sit there while we paid our respects to my grandma.
And he made a fool of himself! My uncle was like sitting away from us and the dog wanted to follow him but didn't dare to jump of the chair he's on. So all this silly dog did was look down with shaky legs, trying to inch forward while whimpering away, waiting for someone to come to its rescue.
But if I ever get a dog, I want a cav-a-malt. Which is a cross between King Charles spaniel and Maltese. Damn cute, looks like a soft toy. So anyone with these 2 breeds should cross their dogs.
I'll leave all of you with 2 pics, nice or not I don't care!

This was me before the concert, why do I feel like it looks like an obituary pic?

Me later in the night, with a jacket 'cos it was quite cold at indoor stadium. :)

30.12.07 5:54 PM

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Missed me?

Wow almost a week without blogging.

It's not that I don't get pissed off, it's just that I'm too lazy to write when I'm pissed off. Like why-would-anyone-care kinda of mentality.

I'm starting to become xenophobic, even racist. I wish I could shoot those foreigners who bully us in our own country! Wah lao! Happily went for their stupid christmas party never invite us never mind, still made my friend work like shit, then by the time she was done with the junior work she had no time to write her report!

I was on afternoon la, but it was not any better with this other still-in-christmas mood Filipino. I updated all her stupid charts, did the hypocounts and ran around the ward like a mad monkey because of the multiple requests from visitors for water, straws and what-nots while she happily fed a few patients and changed some diapers for the whole shift. And in the end, she had the good cheek to tell me today that I forgot to update something.

HARLOW! You think I can fly or have 20 hands and legs is it?! Seriously, if I could fling her halfway across the room or shout vulgarities at her, I would. But for the sake of passing, for the sake of my RN license so I can get the power to bully them back I will grit and bear with it. In the end, I just told her in a really pitiful voice that I was really quite busy and must have overlooked it. In other words, what the hell were you doing the whole shift?!

Yea, they should make full use of this chance to bully us, make us work like dogs so when we graduate and start becoming slave drivers to them they can't really complain.

Well, well, well, you had your chance when we were students right? *evil laugh*

I know I'm quite deranged, someone get me some pills to pop!

And just in case you think I'm complaining 'cos I didn't get invited for the stupid party, I'm not. For the record, the food was horrible. I know 'cos there were a lot of leftovers and they kept it for the night shift people in the pantry. The whole place stank like shit and it was still there when I came in the morning. I think they're waiting to see if it would taste any better with mould growing on it.

Enough said. I've got work tmr, then IT'S FRIDAY!!!

27.12.07 8:15 PM

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Toasts, eggs and coffee

Damn these cheena loudspeakers!

Today, I went to some coffee shop intending to get a nice breakfast. Guess who pissed me off?!

The one selling the damn coffee toast la! Stupid cheena woman SHOUTED at me!!!

This was what happened...

Me, speaking in Mandarin: "Give me a butter toast set."

She, also in Mandarin: "What you want?"

Me: "Errm...butter toast set?"

She: "YA WHAT YOU WANT IN THE SET LA?!"

By now, I'm already quite pissed 'cos I just hate being shouted at so early on a Sat morning. And what do you mean what I want? Didn't I just tell you, stupid woman?!

Me: "I want a butter toast, eggs and..."

She: "WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT DRINK YOU WANT?!"

Say so la! You wanna know what drink I want just ask me what drink I want in the set but I'm telling you I want a butter toast, not some kaya butter toast! And what did she do?

I GOT A KAYA BUTTER TOAST INSTEAD OF MY BUTTER TOAST!

Did this cheena auntie listen to my order? No, all she was interested in was my DRINK. And not like their kaya was anything to shout about. Because if it was good, I would have shut up and enjoyed it but it was horribly sweet! I suspect it was a conspiracy to give me diabetes!

And that's not all I tell ya...

After she got my order, I was shoved to the other side to collect my order. Did she tell me nicely to wait at the other end? Was there a sign telling customers to wait at a certain spot for their orders? NO!!!

All I got was a loud and irritated "you wait there!"

Harlow?! You think your stupid coffeeshop damn big and famous is it? Wah lao so everyone must know what to do, what's the system like is it?

Like in Ya Kun, you might get the eggs and coffee first and the bread a little later 'cos they need to toast it right? Well, I don't see them shouting at me saying, "you sit there!" They would tell you politely that they'll bring the bread to you, you can wait at your seat with a number tag.

And what's the point of shouting at me anyway? There were not that many customers to start with!

My sis was saying, if they continue shouting at all their customers, one day no one will buy from them, then they'll realise the price of shouting at their customers. $2.10 for every customer you shout at...

To be fair, the uncle that gave me my order was quite sweet, was telling me to be careful 'cos the tray was quite heavy. But that nice uncle doesn't take orders and the fierce cheena auntie would have scared all the customers away with her shoutings and soon this nice uncle will be out of job.

This time, I'll swallow the horrible kaya butter toast. The next time I'd make very sure I get my damn butter toast or somebody's gonna die!

Pay $2.10 to get shouted at, what kinda of stupid logic is this?! Pay peanuts and get monkeys la! Throw a stone and we'd be sure to hit one of these monkeys. Maybe I should just kill the dumbos who threw the peanuts with a canon to restore world peace.

22.12.07 9:16 PM

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Announcing the demise of my tagboard

yea, just to reply to my latest and last tag. Thanks gal, linked you too. :)
Like I said, I'm so sick and tired of a bloody tagboard that can only store 100 messages or so before deleting them. Do you know how I feel?! Like all my friends' quirky comments, encouraging messages all gone! Flushed down the toilet all because of the tagboard's incompetancy!
Of course, I could pay for the tagboard, that should miraculously improve their memory! But why should I? Being a true blue Singaporean, I like everything free!
Therefore, please use my haloscan, anyway it's easier to reply to tags in this way.
Today was a hectic day with 2 staff nurses attempting to manage 44 patients and 5 blur sotong staff nurses-to-be attempting to help. Quite a madhouse but we survived, that's all that matters.

20.12.07 12:01 AM

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An identity crisis

Thought I'd write about it. Facing an identity crisis here. I don't know who I am anymore. In trying to find myself, I lost the Sam that my friends and family like.

I thought that maybe if I succeeded in making more people like me, then I'd select that to be my character. But that's not even me la. That's not me. I just succeeded in pleasing a bunch of not so important characters for those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind. Why should I put in so much effort to please those that don't matter?!

That's not all. Why should I get so distressed when people don't like me? Why can't I just tell them to go chew their own shoe if they can't stand my face? How is it my problem they don't like me?

Where is that girl who's so comfortable in her own skin?

I cling on to singing because when I loved singing, I loved myself. I looked into the mirror and liked what I saw. Now, I look into the mirror and wonder what the hell went wrong.

One is only insecure when you don't know yourself. Because then you don't know what you're loved for.

16.12.07 9:07 PM

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I feel quite mad already

My mum's a classic. We subscribed to this Digital Voice thing la. And they screwed up, we don't have a house phone, my mother can't talk so she's mad.

So she called Starhub and went through the horrible press one press two voice message to select the "TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE" option. Then finally she got to speak with a human being.

So naturally she got quite excited and jabbered away, telling him what's her problem. The guy told her to buy another phone cos there are some phones that are not compatible with the modem. She asked for the phones that were compatible with the modem and he said they don't have a list. That made her blood boil. So what the hell is she supposed to do with the second phone that might cost something like $70 and won't work?! Talk to herself?!

He added that he's not a technical assistant. My mother went ballistic and agitatedly asked, "so why did you pick up my call?!"

This first guy was not much help, the second time she called, she spoke to another fake.

Apparently, Starhub's policy is that they have to answer all calls and help customers to the best of their abilities. But seriously?! What if your best is just not enough? What's the bloody point of training technical assistants if you're gonna get some random customer service guy to answer our "technical" questions?! Why not just train the customer service people to become technical assistants so they can REALLY answer all questions?! Or whatever, just make sure our questions go to the right people! Damn it!

I also feel really mad, like there's too much going on inside me and I'm gonna burst. I feel like shouting, biting people, screaming, throwing a tantrum, plucking eyeballs and shooting people.

There's too many of me, too many emotions to deal with. My exasperated brain's trying to take control once again but it's like I've got too many selves trying to take over. It's a hazy time for me. One thing remains clear though, I still feel love and concern in my world. It doesn't come flooding through but seeps in. That itself is enough to warm me. :)

15.12.07 10:27 PM

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Madness

I got mistaken as a nutcase today. Mummy and me went shopping. Mummy continued walking along while I stopped to admire the shirts. I was happily jabbering away, telling her how cute the shirts are. The couple in front of me turned and looked at me and I wondered why.

When I turned and saw no one around me, I went "oh shit!" mentally. Then cried cos I lost my mommy.

Nah, I was kidding about the crying part.

But seriously, they must have thought I'm mad. All the jokes about my imaginary friend... I suppose I have an imaginary mummy now.

This song was on and I miss it.

This song cheered me up. :) I like simple things. May we all find simple love this Christmas.

Look at how lame I can get...

Fighting with a stupid tagboard. Are you just crazy or bored?! Pick on someone your size! lol.

I'm nuts, shut up. Enough said.

14.12.07 11:36 PM

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The conspiracy of the mynahs

They're out to KILL me.

Today, they made me spend an extra 2 bucks BECAUSE THEY SHAT IN MY FOOD!

I was just happily eating my kway teow mee soup when this group of idiotic mynahs flew past and one of them happily dropped a 'bomb' in my bowl.

I ONLY ATE A FEW SPOONS OF IT AND THEY HAD TO DO THIS TO ME!

I could ignore the bit of black shit in my bowl and just happily gobble the soup down or I could starve, or I could just pay the guy another $2 for another bowl.

Of course I chose the last option, else I wont be here ranting anymore.

Now, maybe the boss has some agreement with those mynahs. It's a win-win situation.

1) If the mynahs shit in the bowl before the customer has his/her fill, the customer needs to get another bowl or starve. So the boss earns 2 bucks for nothing.
2) The mynahs get a meal, though I don't know why would someone eat food filled with their own shit.

And I bet I'm right. Because after I ordered my second bowl, I shifted to another table to prevent a second incident and you know what the damn birds did? They flocked to the table and gobbled my previous bowl of food.

I mean, the table is so damn big, one of the many typical round tables in a hawker center, what are the chances of them picking my table? And even if they choose to shit on my table, the chances of them shitting in my bowl is like so small 'cos the surface area of the bowl is like 10% the surface area of that table!

And if the boss cleared the bowls since he looked quite free, the mynahs won't even be there cos they have no leftover food to eat! So they'd be encouraged to take their business somewhere and not bully your human being customers like that!

Therefore, it's a conspiracy to make me spend more money and if I'm stingy enough not to buy a second bowl, they will switch to Plan B which is a conspiracy to infect me with bird flu or make me starve to death.

See how cruel these 'innocent looking birds' are? If they would just ask nicely, I would have left them some! Why must they contaminate the whole bowl of soup?! And stupid mynahs, get this right, I PAID FOR THE BLOODY FOOD, NOT YOU, YOU STOLE MY FOOD.

I hope one day, they'll accidentally shit on the boss. Then he'll get so mad he'll cook all his bird friends. Then he'll also learn something about hygiene.

Whoever heard of this logic? Humans being bullied by birds.

Damn those mynahs, I'll never look at one in the same way ever!

11.12.07 5:17 PM

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An amusing day

My lovely goddaughter (the fat baby) and her older sister trying to amuse her. My goddaughter is exactly how I want my kids--fat and round but I'll need to figure a way to squeeze them out.

For some reason they remind me of my sis and myself. I always tried amusing her, the big and fat tomboy but she'll bo chap me!

~sighs~

Time waits for no man. We all have to grow up. Some day, these 2 lil munchkins may have to grapple with PSLE, O levels and what other stupid shit called JOBS! For now, let them have all the fun they can have.

9.12.07 10:46 PM

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What shit have I gotten myself into?!

I should have gone to ITE to become an Enrolled nurse. I feel so pek chek handling all the damn paperwork. I'm so frustrated I feel like tearing the papers!!! But my head will roll if I ever do that...

Yes, it was fun but at the same time frustrating. WHY AM I WRITING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN?!

I just realised, I survived 5 weeks of torture from this nonsense place. 3 cheers for me! Looking forward to Friday works, anyone stuck in a hellish place should try this. Keep yourself busy till meal time, enjoy your meal, after meal keep yourself busy till it's time to go home. On Monday, look forward to Wednesday, on Weds, tell yourself you're 2 days away from Friday.

But still, that won't stop you from wanting to bite the people around you because you're too frustrated with work. That won't stop you from a perpetual frown on your face. I try to be happy, which I was la, when I first came to work. Then suddenly, in the middle of my day, I felt like crying out loud. Felt like just throwing a tantrum, swinging the files at the doctors, shoving pills down the patients throats and flinging diapers into dustbins 5 metres away.

Then when my patient got "promoted" from "No food or Drinks" to "Clear feeds." I went nuts and ransacked the whole ward for all things CLEAR. In the end, the poor fella got 2 cups of tea, 1 jug of warm water and a jelly. Well, he only asked for the 2 cups of tea.

He honestly looked confused when I brought the water and jelly and went, "well all these are clear, you can have them."

"err...ok, thanks."

He probably finished it la, a fat young man starved for 24 hours! Maybe if I gave him a pot of jelly, it'll be gone before we can complete the shift right? Pretend only, to look as if he cannot finish.

There are things, at the tip of my tongue threatening to spill out but all I do is talk rubbish. I sometims bite it so hard, it hurts. I probably fear taking risks more than death.

7.12.07 11:14 PM

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I like this song

Go figure.
Christmas is coming. There are 4 things I really want, but cannot be bought with money. Well, technically my license is partially bought by money! I mean how can you learn driving without money?
Don't bother telling me about Santa. He's just a stupid, fat old man who bluffs children.
Anyway, I think he spends half his life in a chimney cos he's too bloody fat that he can't see what you're doing outside anyway. So how would he know if I've been naughty or nice? :p
Anyway, SG is too hot for him and we don't have chimneys, just sewer pipes. I suppose he could try getting in by using the pipes!
The bad people always get away with it, the good old hardworking ones are the fools. Where's the justice?!
I'm gonna make sure I pass and get out of this damn ward. I'll make it. I'm gonna do all it takes, slog my guts out to get out.

5.12.07 8:19 PM

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Will some people please grow a brain?!

Yet another rant. Was at Parkway today. Geez, they should like teach people how to use overhead bridges here!

There was like one big bunch of people(including me) trying to come down and a few people going up. Most people with some brain/common sense would keep to their side and leave the other side for people going in the opposite direction. But some not so smart people decided to cross over the other side without looking up. Then finally, we would meet face to face and they'd give me the 'shocked, what-the-hell-are-you-doing' look. What the hell am I doing?! Coming down the steps, keeping to my space!

I don't know la, what they teach in schools. Like when I was in Thailand, on an old overhead bridge that looked like it was falling apart, people had enough brains to give way to each other and make sure no one dies while trying to cross the overhead bridge!

Ta for now. I can't think straight today.

3.12.07 9:37 PM

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Divorce is the future tense of marriage

I'm sorry for being so depressing again. I'm becoming pessimistic all over again. I look at happy couples and think they won't last. I imagine the guy getting hooked by some hot girl, or maybe the girl just decided the bf was being a wuss and left.

Yesterday, I was at Singapore Expo and saw some booths promoting wedding photo shoots. I couldn't help but think to myself, "why go through all the trouble when you're gonna get divorced anyway?"

I don't mean ALL of the happy couples there were gonna get divorced but at least 3 out of 10 were gonna get divorced right? So why do they even bother putting in so much effort for their wedding when they're not gonna work on their marriage? Of course, we'd never know who's marriage will last and whose will fail.

I don't know. Marriage should be compared to a marathon and the wedding, just the warm-ups. No matter how well you warm up, no matter what expensive gears you buy, it's no use if you're not gonna conserve your energy and are not determined to finish the marathon.

I know I'm crapping again. Sometimes, the thought of giving someone so much power, power to hurt me scares me. But then again, I want my own little brood of kids with their doting father to grow old with.

I think the biggest gamble in a woman's life is her choice of husband. Why, the stakes are her whole life's happiness! Maybe that's why people are staying single, they just can't afford the stakes.

But you know what they say? If you don't try, you never know. If you tried and failed, well, at least you tried! What crap is that? So I know I failed, screwed half my life, NOW WHAT?! WHich is why I only apply that saying to aspects of my life I'm quite sure of.

I suddenly have a craving for aeroplane food...

2.12.07 9:07 PM

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