♥ Queen of all Grumpy Old Farts ♥

About the GrumpyQueen

A.K.A Gatekeeper

I love food, don't deprive me of it.

I'm not Princess, I'm Queen

I can be quite grumpy and when I am, I hide here, my dungeon for reflections, ramblings and ranting.

Whatever I write are opinions, and may not be the whole truth. Do not read it like the Gospel.

I hate as vehemently as I love
I already know I'm crazy, be my friend, it's safer

Different is not bad, just not the same as the rest

If you don't like me, it's probably mutual
But I'm nice, really :p

Blog started 21st June 2007, shifted from www.thegatekeeperstory.blogspot.com

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I'm just too sick and tired of a tagboard with a short term memory.

Thanks! :)

History

December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
May 2010
June 2010
September 2010
October 2010

A song that nearly made me cry

Never Let you go by Janice

How come the English version and the Cantonese version has quite different meanings? Don't believe me, listen to the Cantonese one.

大哥(Big Brother)

I've got to say that I liked the Cantonese one better, nearly made me cry. No, I don't know Cantonese, I read the lyrics! If you can't read the Mandarin lyrics, basically it's like the characters have this brother/sisterly relationship which is like a stumbling block to building their romantic relationship.

没有好感怎会相亲相爱大哥只是掩饰 *yea go figure*

If there are no feelings, how can we be so loving? "Big brother" is just a cover.

Quite a direct translation, I know. I thought it was the most poignant line of the song.

*wanders off emo-ing*

31.10.07 11:26 PM

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A cool mad old lady

It's too hilarious I tell you. I think my area has too many crazy people and I don't even live in Hougang!

Today while on the way back I saw this really cool old lady and a young punk. Typical young punk with bleached hair and ear phones, piercings all over dancing to the music 'cos he had earphones on. Dancing in the middle of a bus interchange, as if it were some club! The old lady? Hahaha! She was dancing with him as well, was doing this a-go-go thing while he was doing the clubbing kinda of dance.

What really made me laugh was that after a while, a guy wearing the MRT transit security vest came to shoo them away. He wasn't nasty or anything like that, just gesturing them to leave the interchange. They did, they danced while walking away. :p

What are the chances of 2 severely deluded people meeting in the bus interchange and deciding to turn it into a disco/club? Or maybe they know each other, who knows?

I think people seem sadder than me after hearing news about me failing. Thank you all for your concern and kind words. Wah! Now it sounds like I'm thanking all of you for attending my funeral!

Hahaha it is such a waste, a good timing, pretty good weather and an okay tester. Yes, it is a waste but which is worse? Failing my driving test or passing me only to have me die in an accident?

I am not such a horrible road driver, I'm a terrible circuit driver, that's all. But whatever, the circuit tests your skills so I might as well brush up on it and do better for my next test, which I intend to pass/fail quietly.

30.10.07 10:36 PM

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34 points and 1 immediate failure

FAIL! Good for me. Thanks to parallel parking and narrow course. 20 points in P park alone and for mounting the kerb in the N course.

I don't understand. After practising like no one's business, I don't see why I can knock the pole down. I don't see why I can turn my wheel in the wrong direction, forcing myself to re-do the whole damn thing. Of course, that part about turning my wheel in the wrong direction I should never tell my instructor, or he would strangle me to death. :p

Then the narrow course. *dies* MOUNT KERB! The good cheek of me to mount kerb, what the fuck was I doing? Until now I had no idea how I mounted kerb. I practised, and made sure I got it. I thought I did, apparently I didn't.

You know what the biggest joke is? Miracles do happen, I believe in it still. Right up till my test time, I couldn't do my directional change properly. So I prayed damn hard, please put my car in the center of the lane. Please, please! Honestly, I had no idea how I came out. I just did.

Then vertical parking. Of all lots, he chose the one where you have to put the car in the center of the lane. Great! I was not sure if the car was in the center and so I prayed again. Then to be sure, I tried moving forward and adjusting.

"This lot you know?" My TP went and even pointed to me.

"Yes sir, I know." I mean how am I supposed to say I'm not sure if it's the center already and I'm trying to adjust?

Then can't be helped, just reverse. The pole was supposed to disappear a second time, and I was supposed to full lock to the left. But it just refused to disappear and I felt like crying! Finally it disappeared and I turned. The TP was looking at his side, I don't know why but I pretended to look at my side and look like I know what he's trying to do. In the end the car went in without much fuss.

Finally I went out into the roads. I swear, the TP loosened up a bit more. On the circuit you could see him stiffen up and looking at the kerbs. The moment we turned out, he relaxed into the chair.

I was happily checking my blind spots when I realised I turned on 3rd gear! But not such an issue here. The once I forgot to check my blind spot, I nearly caused an accident. Because by the time I remembered, I was halfway into the lane. When I turned, I saw this lorry in my blind spot. Then made a U-turn and went back.

If there's anything I've learnt, it's to check my blind spots like no one's business. Never forget to check, even after I pass. Keep calm for my next test, practise like no one's business. I've found the drive not only to pass but to be a good driver.

Candice asked what did I do, at least I was still alive to message her. LOL! At least I brought my tester and instructor's car back to the test center in one piece. If there's anything I'm proud of, it's probably that.

If by now you think I'm angry, I'm not. Neither am I sad. In fact, I'm happy, happy to be alive. I've seen so many deaths, so many people suffer for decades because of some traffic accident. So I'm not sad I've failed, I just know I'm not good enough. If the TP gave me my license today, who's gonna guarantee I will even live to celebrate my 20th birthday next year. Work harder Sam, someday you'll get it.

29.10.07 2:37 PM

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My mood swings

I've been experiencing terrible mood swings and I think I'm losing my mind soon. Or have I already lost it? :p

Today, I attended a talk with Mummy at Marina Mandarin. Errm, it's about old people and bones. Half the time, it sounded like one of my lectures in school so I basically switched off. I decided to revise for driving. I was parking a car in my mind. When my mom caught me stoning, she chided me, "hey, listen leh, don't dream away!"

"Shh! I'm in the middle of parking. Wait, let me finish."

~shakes head~

I really wish I pass, suddenly I feel so excited, like there is no such thing as failing. The calm before the storm? Only God knows. I'm slapping myself. I feel that if I'm too confident, I will be punished for it. Like God won't help me if I'm too confident.

My instructor's 2nd son was like that, excited and confident. In the end, he failed. The first one, scared like anything but passed. :(

Oh yea, you know what I realised about CityLink? I think they only expect English educated people to shop there. 'Cos I couldn't find any security guards for directions and the signboards were all in English. So how? The old people and those who can't speak English no need to shop there, is it? What about tourists?

I don't know. I just felt different today. I felt like I just came out from the stream, into the big ocean. Everyone there looked like city folks and I felt like the country bumpkin. It's not my dressing, I just felt like that all of a sudden.

And the shops look quite high class to me today. Like you can't go in and go, "errm where is *insert name of random shop*" without looking stupid.

I found a few expensive chocolate shops though. $22 per 100 gram. *gasps* Spend $450 in 3 consecutive months and become a VIP. 10% discount. Hahahaha! I doubt I'll earn that much money to spend $450 on chocolates a month.

Everyone can see how much I want that license. I'll be a good girl, I'll treasure it, follow all the funny rules so that it doesn't get revoked. I'll be nice and give way to people, I won't honk at learners. I promise, can you just give it to me please?

I hope the tester had a nice weekend. His wife, children and grandchildren, please be nice to him this weekend. I hope he'll have a good Monday and decide not to fail anyone 'cos he's in such a good mood. We'll see how it goes.

28.10.07 8:19 PM

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"Mummy, do you think I'd pass my driving?"
"No, I don't think so."

:p

That's what I wanna hear, not that I'd make it. Because for a long time, I've had this feeling that I won't pass. Yes, I'm feeling like that despite hearing from others that I'd make it. They're just being nice, I told myself.

Yet, there is this part of me that believes in miracles. I believe in them because I've had them happen more then once to me. I'm praying it happens again on Monday.

So now, I believe in miracles more than I believe in myself. I trust God more than I trust myself. Yes, all you atheists out there, I'd rather trust God then someone who's alive and real, typing this post.

Today my instructor didn't yell at me. I don't know if it's because he gave up or he just saw how demoralised I looked. Inside, I yelled at myself. Because if I were the tester, I wouldn't pass myself.

So now, daily lessons till friday. Then hopefully, my last lesson on monday before I face my tester at 11 a.m.

Bear with me, it's a terrible time for me. I feel like it's the worse time of my life.

24.10.07 8:05 PM

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Down with stereotypes!

Just read a friend's blog and decided to type my own wacky theories about hot boyfriends out. Mainly cos I'm so bloody sick of thinking of driving and my TP.

According to him... (his points in yellow)

Other women will try to sleep with him: I feel, in this case, it's the character that plays a bigger part. You can think of dating just average looking guys, why can't other women think of that? If everyone dates average guys so that other women won't sleep with him, then one day these average people will become hot property. Then because they never seen so many people going after them before, plus if they have morals of a dog, they may just cheat on you at the drop of a hat. Worse still, maybe they won't even wait for the damn hat!

His ego could be a problem: I think there are still ugly people out there because they've become numb to the criticisms. So they just live on their ugly ways and not change. So ugly already, how to change? There are no ugly or stupid people, only people who don't wanna improve. But that's not really my point. My point is, if ugly people can become numb to criticisms, good lookers will get sick of compliments.

Imagine being told you're good looking not once in a blue moon but every single damn time you meet someone new. It's almost like hearing, "wow you've got long/short hair!" It doesn't become a compliment, it becomes part of your daily small talk. Sooner or later, you'd want someone to see you for you really are, not how nice your face is. Eventually, you'd learn how to tell if someone likes you or your face. And when you find that rare someone, you'll stick to him/her like superglue.

I also feel that he'll not be egoistical but more critical of himself. Because he's been complimented so many times, he doesn't know how to live life if he becomes ugly one day. Like how to react when someone says you're ugly like shit? Errm, ok? So maybe everyday, he stares into the mirror thinking of how to improve himself and not become ugly. At worst, you'll just be dating a paranoid idiot who thinks everyone is staring at him 'cos of his big ugly pimple that popped out yesterday. And, "but baby, I'm sure they're looking at you 'cos you look good" will not work on such paranoids 'cos they're too severely deluded. Then in this case, you should either love the paranoid or dump him, it's your call.

And when you say, "hey you look good!" to someone and they say, "oh ok, thank you!" They're not acting dao or not trying to be egoistical bastards, they're just accepting the compliment graciously. What you expect them to do? Make themselves ugly?

On the other hand, have you seen people who're average looking/ugly like a prune trying too hard? Trying too hard to act yandao/chio that it becomes disgusting! I think they are the ones with the ego problems.

You'll become jealous and possessive, He can easily manipulate you, You'll be insecure: When you find someone who loves you for who you are, he/she will not be clingy. Because if they know who you are, they can trust you and know that what the both of you share is special. The good looking one will not attempt to manipulate the plain one because love is just not like that.

Ultimately, a face, pretty or ugly is only used for recognition. Look beyond someone's face and love the person, not just the face. Like they say, if you throw peanuts, you can only get monkeys. If you try to be someone you're not to hook a good looking bf, you can be sure of worrying endlessly if he's gonna cheat or not. Because you know how superficial the relationship is gonna be. When 2 souls are truely connected, the face doesn't matter anymore. Idealistic? Hahaha!

So go date all the good-lookers if you sincerely like one. Maybe he/she can improve your dress sense and you could be on your way to snagging the "Best looking couple" prize! Lalalala! Go be the envy of your friends! If he's your one true love, why are you running away?!

GOOD LOOKERS! How? PLEASE START AGREEING WITH ME!

And I am in no way trying to start a blog war with that friend of mine, I was just bored and decided to share my wacky theories.

If you can't understand my post and think I'm championing for the good lookers 'cos I'm just trying to justify my superficialty with something that looks like a remotely smart argument then I suggest you shoot yourself! Why will I try to disguise superficialty? Oh hell, if someone's so superficial, do they even think?

This is purely my speculation and opinion and I'm in no way suggesting that I'm good looking which is why I can argue for the good lookers. I'm not asking you to take my word as the greatest truth of life and worship it anyway.

22.10.07 9:32 PM

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The emptiness in me

I promised myself--no depressing entries anymore. Dramatic rants, yes, at least try to make it funny. *weak smile*

My sis once said, "you sound very different in your blog and in real life." That jolted me, how can my blog and real life be so different? That's it. I'm gonna do what I do best, rant and criticise everyone and everything on here. It's therapeutic.

But this time, I really can't help it anymore. Driving is killing me, taking the laughter away from me. I feel like I'm trapped in a stale relationship. I just go, "what's the point" every single damn lesson. It's like a couple staying together because of kids or the house. For me, I'm perservering because of the money already invested.

Today, at the N course, he told me "it's too late, too late..." Guess what I did? I stubbornly turned, refused to correct the turn, praying that it won't hit the kerb. Hahahahah! Never hit leh! I was so happy, for once I felt I had some judgement skills, or maybe luck.

Basically, I felt like an idiot today.

"Signal on! Quick!"
"Stop! Here must stop!"
"Give way, give way to him!"
"Get your biting, get your biting!"
"Go slow here ah..."

Why is he telling me every single damn thing? I don't know when to on signal meh? Don't know must give way meh? I feel like a damn idiot you know. And you know the bad thing about me? When you treat me like an idiot, I act like one. After a few minutes, I sort of stopped thinking for myself. I just drive on, waiting for my next instruction, thus making me look like a bloody fool, fulfilling my instructor's prophecy. Self fulfilling prophecy. Make someone feel like a fool, they'll act like one and you'll think they're one.

I'm not saying I'm like so damn good at driving. But I just feel he's not helping me, just making me feel more terrible. At this point, I need to see some light, some hope. But he's just trampling on me. Can't you see that I'm already demoralised, almost bursting at the seams? I don't need you to make me feel worse.

When you make me numb to it all, then we're all in trouble. Because when I stop caring, stop feeling, it's when I won't bother improving.

One week more, I feel like it's the hardest thing I've done, the worse time in my life.

4:07 PM

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I'm at it again...

Sometimes I wonder why don't I just drop dead? I mean so many people piss me off in one day, if I drop dead, it'll benefit me and the society. First, the stupid people don't need to be cursed at. Next, normal but innocent parties don't need to hear me rant and lastly I don't half to be angered half to death every single time.

Today I was rushing to church when I realised I had no money in my ez-link card. So I went to the nearest 7-eleven, yes the one with the stupid shopkeeper. Read here for the story of the stupid 7-eleven shopkeeper. Anyway, I went and in front of me was this man in his fifties paying for his groceries. *wrinkles nose* He has the typical ah chek smell that I don't like.

So while the cashier (not the same stupid one) was bagging his items, I fumbled for change to pay the stupid 30 cents "service charge," thinking the cashier would take at most 2 mins to finish bagging the items.

When the cashier was done, I was like getting reading to hand him the cash and card, who's to know, this stupid ah chek refused to budge and STOOD THERE to check his items, as in what's there is there and that the cashier didn't steal his bread or anything. And so I waited, because he's quite old, how can we shout at old people right?

"RECEIPT LEH?" the ah chek shouted out to the cashier who was less than 1 metre away from him. I think he's quite deaf, old already, never mind.

Then this young cashier, probably quite new was fumbling through a whole stack of receipt because he probably presummed this ah chek, like so many other customers didn't want a receipt and dumped it. The ah chek continued with his "checks."

Finally, God bless this young cashier's soul, HE FOUND THE DAMN RECEIPT!!! So handed it to the old guy and I was like thinking, "good, can move on to me."

Who's to know, this old guy, turned, looked at me, never say sorry for holding up the line, never mind, he proceeded to lecture the cashier. Which means what? He's taking up more time right?

"Ah...must give receipt mah...or not how?"

Must give receipt? How should the cashier know? Most people don't ask for receipts at 7-eleven what!

Then as he lectured, he was still fumbling through his things, I don't know why. Lucky for him, he didn't start checking through his things again. Otherwise, I would suffocate him to death with the bread he bought and drown him in the 2 litres of milk that's in the bag. Then he'll have silky soft skin before he dies!

Evil, evil me. Sometimes I think I should be locked up for the dangerous thoughts in my head...

21.10.07 8:39 PM

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Connie Talbot

The lovely 6 year old singer from Britain's Got talent. The audience is so silent when she starts singing you could hear a pin drop. Either she's a really good singer or a really soft one. How about you listen and judge for yourself? :p

20.10.07 3:57 PM

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Ranting about hair again

I wanna announce that I'm 75% convinced that there is nothing wrong with my hair! I've been bugging so many people about this stupid hair and caused some distress, I'm sorry. :(

Just that I kept feeling that my hair is ugly, the more I looked at it, the more pek chek I felt. Yes, so I went around and asked for suggestions. To my horror, no one thought there was anything wrong with it.

Yesterday night was the worse. I could imagine myself pouring out my woes to my hairstylist, asking him to cut me a nice style. Sometimes I think hairstylists are the most wonderful therapists. They can make you feel beautiful with a few snips. And I always feel the male stylists are the best ones for me. They always give me good cuts.

So I told my hair...

"YOU! YES YOU HAIR, YOU'RE GETTING ONE LAST CHANCE FROM ME! IF I GET UP AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY, I'M SNIPPING YOU OFF! HEARD ME?"

This morning, when I woke up, my hair was nice and fluffy so I took i that they heard me and decided to be good.

Anyway, I met up with Nisa, went to TP design school to eat. Pigs la, both of us. Es was supposed to come...hahah but stupid me, I misunderstood some things and that's why no one updated her. *dies*

So with just a few strokes of the comb, I produced this hairstyle for the day.

Can you feel me breathing in fresh air for once? At last, my hair is back to being nice and fluffy, not limp and freezy. I purposely took a pic at this angle so you can see the fluffy feeling I tried to get in my hair, the messy yet proper-enough-to-step-out of house look.

And today while combing my hair, I realised my hair...*horrified look*

My hair is in streaks of brown! Not those dark brown, as in brown, really like highlighted hair. My mum said it means it's turning white. But...but turn white it will be brown but frizzy first right? Like armpit hair texture right?

Mine is not armpit hair texture! Mine has the texture of normal hair but it's just unusually brown today. Even Nisa said so...

Anyhow, I don't want it to turn white, I just want it in this brown so I save on highlighting my hair! Cheapskate hor?

Oh yea, my biggest fan read my blog today. *blushes*

"Oh yea, I read your blog..."
*looks at biggest fan*
"Sorry la, I needed to de-stress"
*smiles*

Destress? Hahaha my rants are used for destressing. Isn't that cool? She's none other than my beloved sister who can still read blogs despite being in the middle of papers. :p

Anyway, good luck to the people taking Os!

18.10.07 11:48 PM

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What was he thinking?!

Ya, like seriously, what was this lao uncle thinking when he 'decorated' his bike? In case you cannot see the pic properly thanks to my slow fingers, it's a stupid bike and those yellow stuff you see are SUNFLOWERS! Sunflowers of a gaudy yellow!

*faints*

It's understandable if it's some lao auntie, which is rare because
1) Aunties seldom bike, it's deemed as "dangerous" so no proper girl would bike
2) Related to my first point, I haven't, in my 19 years of life seen any female above 40 biking.
3) Considering how much flowers he put on that stupid bike, aunties will only put that much flowers if the flowers were on sale.
4) Aunties just have better sense la, and better things to do then stick flowers on a bike, they'd probably do it to their sons' room door but not on a bloody bike.

If you're bored like me, you can read a figment of my imagination. It's what I imagined must have gone on at this lao uncle's house.

"Ah lao ar! You stick all my flowers on your bike for what? Flowers very expensive one leh! Then you go everywhere with the bike, wait rain or what, flower spoil how?"

"Spoil then throw away lor, or not buy new one lor!"

"Ah lao! You think we all so rich meh? The flowers you stole from Ah boy leh! Now I have to buy new flowers for his door la! Waste money leh!"

"Waste money then don't buy lor, Ah boy so old, you put flowers on his door, people will laugh at him one leh..."

"Aiyah! That time I went Geylang Serai, then see people buy, the Malay auntie say cheap so I buy lor. Ah Girl's room too many flowers liao so put on Ah Boy's door lor!
Ah Boy is in the corner, wiping his sweat saying "Heng ah! Papa go and put on his motorbike, at least now Ah Beng and gang won't laugh at my door when they come over to play Dota."
Of course, maybe this uncle is just an attention seeking tigou whose mistress thinks it's cool to own a motorbike and decorate it this way. Don't ask me how come people so stupid can believe their mistress and think it's cool to decorate your bike this way. If some tigou can believe someone young enough to be their daughter/granddaughter is in love with them, I don't know what else they CAN'T believe.

Then while I'm at it, I might as well post a picture of myself, a picture I took in boredem. I think I can only take this kinda of yellow, ancient pictures. I think I have the ancient face.
The best way to get rid of boredem is to enjoy the moment. How many people have time to feel bored?

When you're busy, look around and ask yourself, how many people have time to run around like you? How many are jobless with nothing to do?

SO if you're bored, how about just make a story for this picture?

But if you're too busy for such childish nonsense, just mutter under your breath, "I've got better things to do kiddo!" and be on your way. Carpe Diem!

17.10.07 8:50 PM

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Shouting match at the S course

Yesterday was a horrible day at the S course. I suck at it. And my instructor's not helping by making me feel like the worse driver in Singapore's history.

Without Nisa and Xue, I would have given up a long long time ago. They make me feel normal, validate my emotions and tell me how to get around things.

All this while, I've been tahan-ing my instructor's nonsense. Sometimes, he really makes you feel useless by changing the gears for you then going, "see I change gears for you." Or telling me to change gears. I thought I was the only one with this problem, until Nisa said she had that happen to her.

Do you know how useless I feel? Sometimes I ask myself what am I doing in the driver's seat if someone has to tell me to change gears or do it for me.

Oh yea, was supposed to talk about the S course thing. I can't get the bloody concept and before I can even strike/mount kerb, my instructor washes my hair with his saliva. That is, give me a good scolding.

Here I am, stressed like shit asking him how much I should turn. There he is, telling me to use my feeling and shouting at me. Then when I use my feeling, he pulls the steering from me. How to judge? How to know if my car is in the middle? THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW, NOT USE MY FEELING ONLY. IN ORDER TO USE THIS SO-CALLED FEELING, I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO JUDGE! But he doesn't understand me...

So he yells and yells and something just snapped inside me. All the pent up frustrations, all the stress within me, plus the anger at myself...

In case you think I hate my instructor, I don't. I hate myself, I feel useless for not being able to drive properly weeks before my TP. If anything, I wish he could do something to make me feel less helpless. To make me feel that it is possible to pass my TP. But no, all he does is yell and yell and says it's easy. This adds to my stress and my anger towards myself. Do not tell someone experiencing difficulty it's easy, tell them how to make it easy. To tell them it's easy when they can't do it makes them feel stupid.

Advice from Xue: the next time he yells, listen to the words, not the tone.

Advice from Nisa: Keep calm for TP, be a bit kan chiong but not so kan chiong, I know how kan chiong you can be for tests. Keep calm, if you're kan chiong, you might end up not being able to change gears, end up pulling out the gears. Everything you do, think not of what you're gonna do right but what can go wrong so you don't screw up.

16.10.07 2:17 PM

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My hair

Cut short?

Perm?

Colour/highlight?

Rebond?

Leave it?

WHAT?!

Cut short: makes my face look rounder=look fat

Perm: Might make me look old, good if it can make me look like a doll.

Colour/highlight: Not to be done alone, effect better if done with rebonding/perming

Rebond: I hate the 'flat' and ironed-hair look. Rebonding gonna go to waste when I go for attachments and tie my hair.

Leave it: I would if I could but it's distressing me...makes me look mad.

If I want a straight hairstlye, it'll be something like this...straight and neat but not without volume...of course not blonde!

Then if I wanna curl my hair, it's gonna be something like this. Will it look nice on my face?
Suggestions? Which looks nicer? Or any better suggestion? Help me please, or not I become mad thinking of what to do with my hair!

14.10.07 10:55 PM

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I'm a rojak Singaporean and proud of it!

I'm quite sick of this stupid Facebook thing. When I got friendster, it was like the coolest thing in town, with people adding people they barely know. The more friends you had, the better. Well at least the testimonials page was used correctly...

Now, people plaster their profile with retarded looking poses and leave random messages for their friends on the comments page.

Ok, so I got sick of friendster and barely use it. Then this stupid facebook came along. At first, it was quite refreshing, poking people, hugging them, buying them drinks and what-not. After a few weeks, I got sick of it too. I just couldn't keep up! Now I realise, my friendster friend's list and facebook list are quite the same.

Why am I even on facebook? To fit in? To show I'm not weird with no social life? Sometimes I wonder whether the people who spend so much time on facebook/friendster with their 103948568 friends on virtual space even have a life. How to get a life if you're stuck perpetually in front of the comp?

Also, I'm starting to ignore the stupid panda I created on facebook. At first it was cute, now I wish it'll die. Just what did it do? Probably just its luck to be born when I'm so sick of these social networking sites.

"Why don't you even get sick of your own face? So nice meh, your face?"

HOW DO YOU KNOW I AM NOT SICK OF MY FACE? I think everyone will get sick of their own face sooner or later, even if you have the most perfect face. How not to?

And my goodness, I nearly caused a racial riot yesterday. I was surrounded with a group of teenagers with no sense of style. The best part is they thought it's cool, with that fugly hairstyle. 4 out of 7 had the stupid style---one lump of hair supporting a cap. They think so funny, kept taking out the cap to show off the lump of hair that resembled a beehive. So nice meh?

Of course I didn't blast at them. Crazy or what? 7 guys leh, they whack me how?

I also waited 45 mins for a stupid bus. I was so bloody pissed off and at last, the 3 of us decided to just take another bus. I think if I walked all the way, I would have reached before the bus.

I would have caused another riot today if I blasted at the stupid 7 eleven storekeeper. My sis was trying to top up her ez-link card and spoke to the store owner in Mandarin. Then this kaypoh woman wanted to strike a conversation with us. Yes, she was just being friendly.

"Eh, you not chinese ar?" the storekeeper asked her.

"Errm...no?" My sister looked quite shocked and was wondering how the storeowner knows.

"Wah, you not chinese. You singaporean ar?" Then she started speaking to us in perfect mandarin.

Our pronounciation is not wrong, it's Singaporean. We speak Mandarin like any other Singaporean chinese. And for that brief moment when she asked if we're chinese, I nearly said I'm chinese. It's not being ashamed of your heritage, it's just the race I can identify most with. I speak English and Mandarin, eat chinese food, am surrounded by so many chinese friends and do so many chinese things. I sometimes honestly forget that I'm a rojak.

I am so bloody sick of people who ask if I'm singaporean. If anyone is not chinese, indian or malay, means foreigner! What logic is this? ~rolls eyes~

Then if it's not enough, they will go on and ask, what country was I born in. SINGAPORE LA!

Then they start asking me about my parents, if they're foreigners. Lucky they never ask if my grandparents born in Singapore or not.

Kaypoh: "then your grandparents leh? Born in SG?"

Me: "No la, only 1 born in SG, the rest all no."

Kaypoh: "yea la, no wonder, that means you foreigner la..."

Me: "You mean all your grandparents born in SG?"

The above situation has not taken place yet, but I will laugh to death if it ever happens.

Then, after a while, they start feeling bad for questioning you so much so they try to compliment you.

"Wah you so pretty, really don't look like Singaporean hor?" they start looking around for people to agree with them.

Then the rest say something stupid like sometimes the water overseas better for complexion. They often give the example of those people living in the mountainous regions having rosy cheeks.

At this point, I'm starting to get offended, especially if I'm talking to young and educated people. You mean Singaporeans supposed to be ugly? If they think the mountain water so good, go and buy those mineral water from the mountains to drink everyday. See if they get any prettier drinking it.

I am not fabricating any of these up. The examples I've given are from my interactions with real people of different ages, genders and educational qualifications. I'm not saying they represent the whole SG population, they just represent the people I've met in my 19 years thus far.

Years of national education, social studies and racial harmony day celebrations all gone to where? Why are people so closed up and not exposed? There are so many people of different creeds, race and religions, please open up your eyes!

I mustn't go on...or I'll just start digging up more stories. I leave you guys with a video Candice shared with me. So funny and cute, must watch to destress.

I think my friends all just accept me as Samantha the rojak. I am who I am, and my race: Human.

13.10.07 10:59 PM

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TGIF

Actually, thank God it's the holidays. Then everyday's the same, Friday or Monday. I don't feel like talking today, I think I said less than 100 sentences today. To some, it may seem like a lot, but to me, it's probably like 10% of my usual. Nothing happened, I just got tired of talking.

I can hear cheering in the background. I know you guys are wishing I stop talking forever. Hahaha too bad, when I get the love for talking back, then....muahahahaha!

The mic's there 'cos it's YMM time and we were supposed to be singing. Cherryl decided to wear Emma's jacket and while we're at it...OUR VERSION OF CHRIS ANGEL MINDFREAK! It's so funny, I decided to put it on her friendster. Hope she likes it. :p
Some long overdue pics from my gerontology posting...So we went to a day care center for the elderly for 2 days and they were gonna celebrate the birthdays of 3 elderly in a few weeks time. Since we were there, they got us to make birthday cards for them.
This is the inside of the cards, red one done mostly by me. Not very pretty, I know, never been quite good with art anyway. Oh yea, been so long since I've written a word in Mandarin, look how ugly my words are. I even forgot how to write jian kang (health)

Then yea, the insides from errm another angle...

The outside of the card. Of course I didn't draw the cake! Let you all in on a secret, until today my drawing is still as good as a kindergarden kid's drawing. *runs away*
But I coloured and designed the card. I like the silvery things. "There are no lousy ingredients, just lousy cooks." Yes, we had limited materials but maybe we can only blame our own artistic skills. And you have no idea how much it took to produce a card of this standard!
Oh yea, did you know that you can toast your fries? Today I was feeling hungry and decided to fry some fries. So tried frying it in the deep fryer and half way through, it refused to work! I took it out and stared at the half cooked fries, soaked with oil. To throw it away is such a waste, to eat it, it's disgusting.
I looked at my oven toaster and decided to toast it. It still tastes the same as regular fries! It was only like maybe 20 strands of fries. Imagine if I put in more. Hahaha I would still be by the toaster toasting away!
Anyway, to all my Muslim friends, especially Darling...
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Psst! Remember to share some kueh with me...

12:53 AM

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Bleh

Darren wants me to share his 2 froggy friends' pictures with all of you. A picture can tell a thousand words, so I'm gonna show you screenies of our msn convo.

Asked him what is "Ribeep" cos he's been doing it for few days. So he drew me this to explain.

Then this is his froggy no. 2 So ugly, no wonder it is number 2. Bleh!

Oh yea, I was bored and decided to ask him if there is such thing as a fat army officers. One, cos he's an officer, two, because I've never seen a fat man wearing an officer's uniform. So he drew me the above pic. Hahahahaha! Ok!

Then he also drew this because he's on long term MC, rotting at home and can't go anywhere far. So he said he's dying. People are DYING to be on long term MC!!! People like me of course. I don't know why long term MC is wasted on people who don't like to stay at home and laze. Holidays are bad, because you still need to help out with housework. MC, you just groan a little and you can probably get out of it.
Oh yea, I MADE A NEW BLOGSKIN! Not 100% made by me, I used the basecode off another blogskin. Image provided by Darren who happily downloaded it from somewhere. But yea, majority of the coding was done by ME! It's a little errm...perverted though. But I like it, it's funny if you're not so prudish. Go to my test blog to have a look!
http://www.xiaozharbo.blogspot.com/
Of course, I don't watch anime. I did this blogskin for Darren. DUH! Why do you think he provided me with the image? Yea, so I did the blogskin and he thinks it's perverted. So he did his own version but I think mine's very creative. Perverts are creative people. Don't believe me, go see his blog. His version is there.
http://abcscript.blogspot.com/
Ok, enough said of my perverted blogskin. Whoever wants it, ask me for the html. Otherwise I'll keep it for my own satisfaction. And of course I won't use it for this blog. I spent days and nights tweaking with the coding of this blog. I'm not saying it's the best blogskin in the world but it is the best blogskin for me because it has everything I want.
Oh yea, if anyone's interested in my 2nd circuit lesson...read on.
I finally managed to smell the parallel parking lot in the circuit. I'm proud to say I park my car swee swee, and was secretly smiling to myself and admiring my handiwork. Then you know what they say about complacency? It's the mother of all failures. When I was trying to get out of the lot, I KNOCKED THE POLES DOWN!
They came crashing down with a really loud sound. My instructor yelled at me. I seriously don't know where to hide my face because there were a few cars around my lot. I'm sure they heard the loud crash sound! Arrrgh! I don't know whether they were laughing at me or not. Didn't dare see.
Then at the crank course and whatever not, I nearly crashed into the kerb. AHHHH! I just felt like dying, dying of shame. And he had to rub it in by telling me that there are people behind me, waiting for me.
Sometimes I wonder, do people drive around with spoilt signal lights? Then how come they just squeeze in the lane without signal? If you don't signal, expect me to give way?! Arrgh!

11.10.07 9:08 PM

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The driver's circulatory system

My first circuit lesson today. Nothing much went wrong today. I mount kerb once, failed to stop at stop sign once. LOL yea, if today's the test, I would have failed twice. But I felt better today, because what to do, as long as I'm improving from lesson to lesson, I should be happy.

I don't want to fail in the circuit.

Almost 1 year of lessons, how to allow myself to fail in the circuit? If possible, I should make the circuit part swee swee, because I make a lot of mistakes on the road.

Oh yea, Collin Raye's Love me was on the radio today while I was waiting for my turn to park. I was telling my instructor that it's a beautiful song and he replied with a "park here." ~exasperated look~

When my sis intro-ed me the song, I didn't notice the beautiful lyrics. Another day while on the roads, the song was playing and I really calmed down. Do you think I can play it on repeat for my test? Would the tester die? Would he get so irritated and fail me on the spot?

Next lesson thursday. Hopefully I'll make more improvements. Time is really running out...

9.10.07 9:43 PM

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Interesting day, lovely friends

I spent today kicking my friends' butts. No, not in real life of course, you little prune heads. If I kicked them in real life and sent them flying over 100 000 m, would I still be here typing?

Yea, did it on facebook. I found a little application there that's a lot of fun. I'm gonna get all my enemies to join and kick their butts. Well, it's just a game right? ~cheeky grin~

Some screenshots to share...

So yea, I officially kicked someone 139 899 m in facebook. Yipee!

I know I'm quite mad la, see what boredem can do to you. Can actually get so excited because you kicked someone's virtual butt.
And Darren took a pic as a court jester one X mas which I think is really funny. When I saw the pic I just laughed instinctively, probably means he has potential to be a good court jester. I knew if I told him I was gonna put that pic on here to bring joy to my friends, he'll take it down. So I saved it THEN told him. Muahahaha! Evil me. True enough, he said he was gonna take it down. But too late, I told him already saved. :p
Oi! But I asked him nicely if I could put it up 3 mins ago and he said "u wan u put lor."
So yea, he very generously shared such a cute little pic with everyone. THANK YOU DARREN!

Don't you think it's so funny? It was on his facebook. Can you imagine? Feeling crappy at work, just got scolding then you log on to facebook and see such a cute picture of your friend? You laugh to yourself. Your boss decides you're stressed up and reduces your workload. Yea, my wishful thinking.

Oh yea, an interesting quote from a friend to describe her empty mind back then. "Like my brain had decided it's had enough of this lunacy and moved out."

Then Xue came online and tries to explain the concept of reverse driving to me. This was part of our msn convo, I like the pic she drew, am gonna keep it for souvenir.

This was another pic she drew...

Turns out, the diagram Xue drew in the msn window was explaining the concept of reversing, which I have little interest in. In the end, I concluded, from this video that when you turn your steering left while reversing, the right side of your car will look like it's jutting out. I am talking about the view from inside the car. End of story. I only want to know how to work the car, not how it works. :p
I have so many interesting friends.

If I ever pass my driving on 29th of Oct, I'd put all my weird theories up. Idiot proof. I promise.

8.10.07 10:31 PM

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If it comes slowly, wait

That's the answer to the question, "why God?" Not everyone can get it right once, it should please you that you've tried your best.

Today while on my way to Waterloo street, I realised that Bugis is a very interesting place. There's fortune telling, 2 temples and lots of food.

I realised that security guards are the best walking street directories around.

Sometimes I feel like getting my fortune told, I want to know why a normal human being can know so much about a stranger's life. Although a part of me will always feel it's superstition, self fulfilling prophecy. I feel that they'll tell you "general" things to make you feel like it's accurate.

Things like, "take care of your family, they'll be the ones that support you through difficult times. " Then when you experience difficulty in life and your family members support you through you tend to think the prophecy's been fulfilled.

Sometimes I think people turn to fortune telling to escape responsibility. They don't want to be responsible for making a decision, what if something goes wrong? Sometimes, I think they play the fortune teller's words in their heads repeatedly that his words come true. In psychology, it's known as self fulfilling prophecy.

Or maybe, just maybe there are just some psychic people around. I should know, since my intuition has been serving me well. As of today, human beings are only using about 3% of their brains. What about the other 97% ? We don't know how to use the other 97% of our brains yet we've invented so many things. Hmm, what if we can learn to use about 10% of our brains? How much greater will be become?

You tend to take things for granted when you're in your comfort zone. A place is not uninteresting, there are new things to be discovered every day, it's up to you to find it. :)

7.10.07 8:17 PM

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Not many can deal with the more emotional me

Noticed the change in blogging style? From emotional and vague to dramatic and explicit.

I am dramatic and explicit, so that's how my blog should be. My life is full of drama and I remember every single detail.

Not many can handle me when I choose to be my warm, sensitive and emotional self. It's too much for them. I think they can handle my loud, dramatic ways better. Unfortunately, I'd appear cold and logical because the only way to maintain my happy persona is to stay away from sadness.

Enough said.

I think my digestive system has gone haywire. I have a headache, a churning stomach and I feel sick.

6.10.07 10:19 PM

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I smell freedom

TGIF. My favourite day, especially since it'll mark the end of 5 weeks of attachments and the beginning of my 5 weeks holiday. Yes, it'll also mean that it's time for intensive driving lessons and very soon, it'll be D-day. I could moan and groan about how bad my driving is and how I'm gonna fail but I can also think of ways how to enjoy my holidays. Enjoying my holidays is more exciting than moaning and groaning, I suppose.

Today was just arrrgh! I want to get out of that cold place, where my exposure to sunlight is limited to less than 2 hours everyday. I've never appreciated the sun so much. And the people are almost as cold as the metals they handle and the environment they're in. I think they too want to get out of that bloody cold freezer. Maybe that's why they're jealous of us. Because while we can choose whether to come back or not, they can't. They're stuck in this bloody cold place. If they were to go out in the sun after being in the freezer for so long, they would melt!

Today I was changing out and took a bit longer undoing the strings of my pants. It wasn't like 5 mins longer, prob just 2 or 3 mins longer. Suddenly, there was this loud, rude knock on my door.

Person outside door: Hey! Hello?

Me: Yea?

Person outside: Can faster?

Me (thinking): WHY CAN'T I UNTIE THIS STRING?!

Not wanting to piss her off, I decided to undo the strings OUTSIDE the cubicle. When I opened the door and was about halfway out the door, this mad woman just dashed in as if she was rushing to meet her Maker.

In less than 3 mins, she was out.

"Must be like that, then can go home faster!"

Oh, I'm so grateful for her words of wisdom, should I write a bible for you?

OF COURSE I WANT TO GO HOME, YOU MIDGET! I MERELY TOOK 2 OR 3 MINS LONGER THAN WHAT I'D USUALLY TAKE TO CHANGE OUT! Home is of course, more attractive than this cold, deprived-of-sunlight place but surely NOT SO attractive that being separated 2 or 3 mins longer would kill me.

I absolutely cannot stand people who bang on your cubicle door to hurry you. That is VERY rude! Unless they have very bad diarrhea and the shit's about to splatter out any second...
But this does not even apply to her because the cubicle is for changing and there is NO toilet bowl in it. This just tells me that she thinks her time is more precious than mine and even more valuable than my privacy.

If she's in such a hurry, she can jolly well strip outside or just go to the other staff changing room. If she refuses to strip outside, she must value her privacy. If she does, why can't she value mine? She'd rather wait outside impatiently than take action such as making her way to the other changing room to change. What does that show? She's impatient and stupid? She's actually not in such a hurry but wants to show off her fantastic changing skills to me?

Enough said about that eye-planted-high-above woman.

I met another nice surgeon who thanked me after I helped her with the gown. I didn't even know she was the surgeon because I was just busy helping whoever that needed help with gowns. I thought the messy scatterbrain was doing it until I saw this nice surgeon guiding him through. He was such a mess, he looked like he was about to cry when he asked me to open up the gown for him.

I just met a girl who cannot understand simple day to day language. I commented that she has a lot of pics. Han called her a cam-whore. She said Han has to respect her and called him a babarian and his mother a whore. Siao or not? Cam-whore is not an insult but calling someone's mum a whore is. What a dumb and rude girl.

4.10.07 9:04 PM

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Will saying 'thank you' kill someone?

Will die or not? How much gold will fall out from your mouth?

I've got something against doctors who do not say thank you after you help them with something. I don't expect them to bow down to worship me but sometimes acknowledging the effort is cool, you know? A smile or a nod would do too. How many seconds will that take?

When I met a surgeon who thanked me when I helped him with his gown, who asked for stuff with a 'please' and thanking you after receiving it, I wanted to make him my idol. He did all this, IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OPERATION! This doesn't mean the op was a simple one, this shows that no matter what, you always have time to acknowledge someone if you want to.

And he's not those small fry surgeon, he's the experienced kind, with the aura of a big boss. All through the long and tedious op, he was like jolly old Santa, talking and laughing merrily. And yes, the op WENT WELL!

An operation/operating theatre is not really what you see on TV. The layout is pretty much the same but the scriptwriters make such a cool thing appear lame. People in the operating theatre do not run helter skelter and start panicking the moment something abnormal happens. They're usually quite calm and steady. They're not slow in saving the patient, just 'steady'. And the nurses are not those 'extras' that follow dumbly behind the doctors.

'People might forget what you've done or said to them but they'll never forget how you made them feel.'

3.10.07 10:01 PM

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Given a chance to feel insignificant

After months of feeling that students are so important, like the hospital can't function without us and go into disarray, we're finally given a chance to feel unimportant and insignificant! We don't have to think about the "correct" time to go for breaks because we're not doing anything anyway.

I don't blame them, it's quite a highly specialised area. Even if you asked me to help, I might not know how.

I'm gonna fall sick soon. For 8 hours, I'm being exposed to extreme cold, so cold I yawn non-stop and nearly tried to hide in the blanket warmer. Desperate situations call for desperate measures. Then after I knock off, I walk for a good 500 metres in the sun. How not to fall sick?

3 more days before it's all over...

2.10.07 8:42 PM

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